Sunday, December 6, 2009

Week 13 Picks!

Brief entry today. The first part of last night* wasn't very good and I woke up late. For the first time in a few weeks, here are Second and One's picks for the day.

Tennessee @ Indianapolis: This will be an interesting game. Horseshoes are obviously lucky. The Colts are undefeated, having survived some real nail-biters with New England, San Francisco, and Houston. The modus operandi of the Colts is pretty consistent: Peyton Manning runs the show and everything else clicks methodically around him. Everybody knows what Peyton Manning can do, but nobody seems to know how to stop it. Enter the Titans. The Tennessee Not-So-Burnt Toast was in big trouble earlier this season, after going 0-6. Over the bye week, they mixed things up, started Vince Young at QB, and have gone 5-0 since, earning them the season's Outhouse-to-Penthouse award. Where the Colts struggle is on defense, and I think this is the key to this matchup: In the first half of the Indy/Houston contest, the Houston Cattle Ranch was pretty much able to nickel-and-dime the ball down the field on the Colts. Indy has some defensive starters that have been banged up as of late, but are predicted to return to help the cause, and the Colts have an overall series edge against the Titans. I'm going to pick Indianapolis, but I can guarantee it'll raise everybody's blood pressure. 

New Orleans @ Washington: What more can be said about the Saints? I stand by my earlier statement that they're just terrifyingly good. What can be said about Washington? Washington is 3-8. Washington lost to the Lions. Nonetheless, Washington has a good defense, including pass coverage that is ranked 2nd. Because of this particular statistic, and the over-arching conclusion that the Saints are zany, hyper, and pass-wacky, many people think the Scoring Machines are walking into a trap. What everyone fails to realize, however, is that the Saints are not one-dimensional. There are lots of ways to score. They can pass it in (they are ranked 4th, and 10 different receivers have scored this season) They can run it in (they are ranked 5th in the rush, and five different players have scored this season), and their defense can run it in (they have five interception returns for TDs this season, and 22 picks alone). Good gravy, what's next? The offensive linemen start scoring? The Native Americans' defense is good, but hurting a bit, and I don't think they'll be able to cover everything that the Saints have to offer. New Orleans!**

St. Louis @ Chicago: At this point, both of these woeful teams are playing to simply not be humiliated. I can think of five things that stink less than the Bears and the Rams combined:

a) Food that's been in your fridge for two months that you don't find until cleaning later;
b) A Port-a-John in July humidity;
c) Your garage, when you forget to take the trash out for a week; 
d) Some of the chemicals I work with in the lab that are enough to evacuate the whole building if spilled;
e) The fact that I don't even get to watch this travesty where I live because of overlapping markets.

As for the game itself, the problem is the Bears' defense. About 25 years ago, people would have laughed me out of the room had I raised the point that the Bears, of all teams, would have defensive problems. The entire unit is injured after being smeared by the Vikings last weekend, and with the possibility of Lance Briggs not playing, the Monsters Midgets of the Midway might as well erect a big "VACANCY" sign behind the defensive line. What the Bears have to do in order to win is not give the Rams any hope. They don't have much to begin with, being ranked 30th in ability to score, but psychology is weird this way and Steven Jackson can have frighteningly good days. Of course, the Bears' offense needs to do their part too. If they can hold onto the ball, that is. I'll pick the Bears because every other analyst is, because I'm caving to peer pressure, and because even losers need faith.

Yes, this is a real product. Bears tickets: $150. The Bears blanket: $35. Getting to see flimsy coverage either way: Priceless. Source: footballfanatics.com.

New England @ Miami:  The Patriots are peeved after being schooled in New Orleans, and I'm fully expecting them to take out their anger on the Dolphins. Fun Fact: Every time the Minutemen have lost this season, they have won the following game by 16 or more points, and the Dolphins, with a scoring defense ranked 25th, are looking mighty tasty to Belichick and the Brady Bunch. New England.

This is all for now. Enjoy the games, everbody!

*Draw your own conclusions.
**Wow. I managed to write an entire column about the Saints without mentioning Drew Brees. This is impressive!

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