That's a Penalty? In the first half of Saturday's first-class Cincy/Pitt shootout, upbeat music played between every down at Heinz field. The Bearcats, however, couldn't find any rhythm, and trailed by 21 points late in the first half. There was some speculation that the extra noise was interfering with the Bearcats' play-calling, and at the half, an official told head coach Dave Wannstedt that unless the Panthers pulled the plug on the techno tunes they would garner a penalty. You can penalize someone for playing music during a game? I mean, I can understand how if Pitt wheeled in a road sign with one of those blinking arrows, faced it away from their end zone, and chanted "this way, you fools!" for sixty minutes, that it might get officials scratching their heads, but did the relative silence after the half really allow Cincy to come from behind and win by a single point?
Totally Sick Play: The annual Cowboys Collapse has begun! While the Chargers are hotter than a blast furnace, Dallas has begun its December decline. Big Blue power-back Brandon Jacobs caught a short pass from Eli Manning...and ran 74 yards for a touchdown, during most of which he was completely untouched. Bonus Anecdote O' Awesomeness: Brandon Jacobs can't stand the Cowboys, saying "I've been hating Dallas ever since I knew anything about football." Well, congrats, Mr. Jacobs. You get the honor of making this week's Totally Sick Play!
Why is This News Again?: In fashion news, Seattle head coach Jim Mora has announced that the Sea Birds will be retiring their radioactive-green jerseys. (Seattle PI) Coach Mora's reason: they didn't win while wearing them against the Bears in week 2. No, really. This is fine reasoning: you don't want to wear the outfit you lost in again. Although looking at the Seahawks' season, this logic also dictates they should be playing in their underwear right about now.
If you look like vegetables, you will play like vegetables. Source: Otto Greule Jr., Getty Images.
Sour as The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (And the Christmas Bowl): The Michigan State Spartans will be playing in the Valero Alamo Bowl on January 2nd of next year. You know, a bowl game, where you're supposed to have all of your starters and be playing for the glory and honor of your school? The State Screwed-Sideways Spartans just charged nine players in connection with the fraternity fracas in November (ESPN, Big Ten Blog). The charges: multiple assault and battery, conspiracy to commit assault and battery (a misdemeanor), and a tenth was just suspended and charged with a minor in possession and public urination - it just gets worse! (Detroit Free Press) Head coach Mark Dantonio, no doubt embarrassed, remarked to the press that "Our football program has been disappointed before, and we will rise above this." Someone needs to inform Mr. Dantonio that it's hard to stop the soup from hitting the fan if you can't turn the fan off.
Truly Special Special Teams: against the anemic Rams, the Blundering Bears were up by 10, and were facing a 4th-and-4 situation on the Lambs' 10-yard line just before the half. Why not kick for three to make things a little trickier for your opponent? The Bears instead attempted a fake field goal, in which punter Brad Maynard tossed a shovel pass to TE Greg Olsen, the only player who St. Louis had figured out all day. Olsen was clobbered immediately for no gain, and the Rams took over on downs and marched the other way to avoid being shut out at recess. What kind of play is this?!
a) There are better ways to get four yards than a shovel pass from your punter on a fake*;
b) Why are you even trying the fake against a 1-10 team, at home, while already up by ten points? Second and One got ahold of the Bears' playbook, and on the page immediately following the entry for "random fake" found this (vide infra), and promptly drew it up on the Whiteboard O' Wisdom:
On the next page: the play where Jay Cutler throws the ball into the stands simply "because he feels like it."
That is a Penalty!: In Monday night's gritty Packers/Ravens contest, a combined seven turnovers and 310 yards of penalties were committed, making it the dirtiest game since frat-house mud-wrestling went out of style. Baltimore committed five pass interference penalties, and now have committed 13 on the season, leading the league in slop and hand-waving. Second and One asks the following thought question: Q. Why can't you hear Ravens games on the radio? A. Because there is too much interference!
Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: Rodgers rammed the Ravens. Welker Wailed at Miami. Holmes was Hot. Addai Addled the Titans. Brandon Jacobs went off like a nuclear test site. Even Sidney Rice caught a few yards. Against my league's winningest coach, an attack of positively historic proportions was staged by the Fighting Nucleophiles, official fantasy team of Second and One. With this, the 'Nukies move to 8-5, and this coming weekend determines whether the postseason will be looking nucleophilic! Bonus Fun Fantasy Fact: it did not matter who I started at tight end: their scores were equal.
Part 2 of Extra Points to come later!
*Fullback screen. Power-rush. QB draw.
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