A Bit Belated..

There hasn't been much in the way of a legitimate NFL update here, but I have very good reason. In December, my research group writes long annual progress reports to turn in to the head of our group. Mine is already seventy pages, and not a word of this is about football, so it's time for some words on that.

Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre Drew Brees! Drew Brees! Drew Brees! I was thinking this category would be rather hard this week. I was watching the Vikings game, as the Norsemen of the Apocalypse shamelessly ran up the score on my blundering Bears (don't get me started on our pass-rush). In said roasting pasting friendly contest, Brett Favre passed for 392 yards, 3 TDs, and no interceptions. He looked 25 years old against the Bears, and I thought he was a shoe-in for this category...until I saw the Saints game. I watched it with Catherine, my good friend and a Saints fan extraordinaire, and after the second touchdown (and possibly second glass of wine), we simply defaulted to loud cheering and senseless Drew Brees worship. I will now continue the trend. Drew Brees completed 78% of his passes, for 371 yards, no interceptions, and five touchdowns. Drew Brees earned a perfect passer rating on Monday Night Football, against Bill Belichick's defense, where he would pump-fake to draw the safeties, and bomb deep against corner blitzes to wide-open receivers. Drew Brees served the Patriots a taste of their own medicine on a night where the average noise level in the Superdome was about 110 db. (nola.com).* Drew Brees' tears can cure cancer. Hurricanes are afraid of Drew Brees. Drew Brees can fly.

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Source: Chuck Cook, New Orleans Times-Picayune

Dumb, Daft Defenses: During the Thanksgiving Day skirmish between Dallas and Oakland, the Cowboys were driving from their own 25-yard line with about thirteen minutes left before the intermezzo. Two Raiders defensive backs (Trevor Scott and Tyvon Branch), both ran for what would have been an easy interception. However, while Branch had clear sights for a pick-six, Scott was facing away from the end zone - and the two promptly collided head-to-head. The only points they got off of this play were style points from the Three Stooges. Fine demonstrations of conservation of momentum are nothing new to the Raiders: see here how two Oakland receivers, with crossed routes, demonstrate inertia against the Chargers (Ballhype). 

Fresh From the Bakery: Oh, Carolina Panthers. Why doth thou provide so much amusement? Against the struggling Jets, Jake Delhomme threw four interceptions. A good point was raised over at ESPN: The Big Black Cats, with the likes of DeAngelo Williams, are ranked #4 in rushing - Why has Delhomme attempted 30 or more passes in six games this season? Take whoever these pass-wacky play callers are and send them to Chicago to help Jay Cutler, please! Statistic O' Suckage: On the season, Delhomme has 18 interceptions, six fumbles, and three lost fumbles - to only eight touchdowns. He's also been sacked 23 times.

You Know You're Having Quarterback Problems When...reason # 245: your QB's jersey number is in the double-digits and is still less than the number of times he's coughed up the ball. Source: AP, Seth Wenig, panthers.com

Why is this news again? This is all over the news: During the Broncos' Thursday night dismantling of the Giants, the NFL Network cut to a replay of Denver Stampede coach Josh McDaniels' audio feed, in which he hollered at his offense on the sidelines, and in doing so said a very prominent swear word. Everyone promptly snapped out of their Thanksgiving food comas, spit out their night-caps in surprise, and gasped "Did he really just say that?" This was all over the news: everyone was apologizing and people were outraged over the NFL Network's faux pas. I like to think of this as "Big deal. A football guy swore in front of  group of other football guys." Although maybe, at sixteen years old, McDaniels shouldn't say potty words, lest his mom wash his mouth out with soap.

The Joke Just Writes Itself: Ok. The Vikings have a fast offense. We get it. Earlier this last weekend, RB Adrian Peterson was cited for driving 109 mph in a 55 mph zone. On Monday, Vikes wideout Bernard Berrian was similarly stopped for driving 104 mph in a 60 mph area. (ESPN) Second and One, however, argues that Brett Favre will not be cited: he will simply drive 20 mph under the speed limit with his turn signal on permanently.

Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: At 7-5 and poised to strike again, the Fighting Nucleophiles, official fantasy team of Second and One, are making a playoff run! Aaron Rodgers ran up the score on the Lions. Santonio Holmes had his first touchdown since week 1. The Colts' D came back from a serious first-half slump to run the Texans into the ground, and I staged a fifth consecutive nucleophilic attack. 

Perhaps my biggest achievement: I started the right tight end. Yes. That's right. Read it again. Shiancoe (starter) torched the Bears' woeful deuxiemme, while Celek was stopped by the 'Skins. In other news: it is reported that the moon is blue and all of the planets have just aligned. 

Yes. This is a real product. Lions Tickets: $150. The Lions Doormat: $55. Seeing people wipe their feet with the Lions either way: Priceless. Source: Outdoorrugs.com.

Poetic Afterthoughts: Today, just for the heck of it, I wrote a limerick about every team in the NFC North. 

While Childress is filling his quota

And Peterson's back for the coda

In "4" he is dressed

(And at 40, no less)

It's Senior Day in Minnesota!

The Bears have got naught to work with

They've been pounded and pummeled and pithed

A poor defensive batch!

Nobody to catch!

The honeymoon's over for Smith!

While nobody else seems to get

The points that the Packers can net

They've got offensive fever!

The world's best receivers!

Tell me, why did they need Brett?

Can the Lions be freed of their fetters?

Lose that "L", the harshest of letters?

Their rookie's adroit

But they play in Detroit

And I have seen doormats look better.

Next week: We'll do the same with the NFC South, complete with references to Matt Ryan's turf toe.

*Other things that are 110 db or louder: your iPod on full volume, jackhammering, a rock concert. Quieter than 110 db: my television, normal talking, breathing, the Patriots' defense.

The Great BCS Computer Reset of 2009

We need some serious tech support here. Every season, there is always one weekend where there is a series of college football games that really make those who make a living predicting these things scratch their heads and sigh. This weekend, incidentally, was last weekend!

Another One Bites the Dust, and I Mean, Really Bites the Dust: At Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, hopes for a BCS title flared fiercely for unbeaten Iowa (#4). That is, until Northwestern (6-4) showed up. The Hawkeyes instantly put up 10 points, and almost everyone said "game over" and changed the channel. In the second quarter, however, the Hawks' flashy young gun Ricky Stanzi was stripped and sacked in his own end zone by Corey Wootton and went down with a severe ankle injury. Marshall Thomas recovered the fumble, and after the fickle football pendulum swung, Iowa was unable to score again the whole game, making Northwestern (who hasn't beaten anyone ranked in five years), that's right, bowl-eligible. Iowa, who has trailed in the fourth period four other times this season and miraculously pulled out wins, simply ran out of gas this time. As for the Hawks, Stanzi has undergone ankle surgery and is doubtful for the rest of the season. (ESPN, Big Ten Blog) Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz dejectedly stated afterwards, "Anytime you lose your quarterback, that's not good." Uh, really? I honestly cannot think of a more obvious statement than this. Other things Second and One expects to learn from Coach Ferentz: The Pope is Catholic. The sky is blue. Food that is in the microwave will come out hot unless your microwave is broken. 

Pac-10 Pandemonium: Oregon caused quite the rankings kerfuffle when they defeated USC. Where should they be ranked? Should they be ranked ahead of Boise State despite losing to them? What happens to USC? Oregon then squared off against solid, six-and-two Stanford - and lost in a game where a combined 93 points were scored. This game was a greater shootout than the Matrix trilogy. Toby Gerhardt, who holds the records for both "highest number of rush yards/game at Stanford" and "whitest running back imaginable" burned up the scoreboard with three scores and 223 yards. On the other foot, err, hand, Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli threw for three TDs and ran for one. Jumpin Jehosophat, these guys are more offensive than rotten food in your fridge. 

Toby Gerhardt and the Stanford Cardinal* feasted upon the ducks on Saturday. Source: AP, Marcio Jose Sanchez.

This is Why You Go For It: The University of Cincinnati Bearcats are incredible. After star QB Tony Pike's injury, #5 is the epitome of perseverance. In Saturday's embittered skirmish with UConn, the Bearcats showed extreme intestinal fortitude in going for it twice on 4th down - and converting both attempts. The UConn Huskies, incidentally, also went for it twice in similar situations, converted both attempts, and almost won. Other fun facts: Cincy's backup QB Zach Collaros passed for an eye-popping 480 yards in a game where the team accumulated 711 yards of total offense. Judas Priest, these guys are more offensive than smelly feet!

Fresh From the Bakery: Ever notice there are teams that just do not match up well? Navy and Notre Dame. The Midshipmen were ND's doormat for 43 years, finally winning in 2006. And in 2009, Notre Dame dominated first downs, total and passing yards, and third down conversion rate, and still lost the game. Why? The Irish turned the ball over three times. When you're trying to earn a BCS bid against an unranked, independent opponent, you've got to hold onto the ball! The strategies in this game were vastly different. ND had 452 yards passing. Navy had 348 yards rushing. Both under 60 yards in the other category. Suffering Succotash, these guys are more offensive than Howard Stern!

Special Teams that are Truly Special and not Special: Michigan, who is in extreme disarray, hoped to become bowl-eligible against the Purdue Boilermakers, whom Second and One follows as "the most schizophrenic team in the whole BCS." Purdue is the team that put up 52 points one week and then dropped one to a relative cupcake two weeks later. This team ground #7 Ohio State into a fine powder and blew them away, and then lost 37-0 to Wisconsin two weeks later. This kind of schizophrenic. (Indy.com)

Beginning what was to become a furious 3rd quarter comeback against the Now-Extinct Wolverines, Purdue threw the playbook at Michigan. Runs that looked like passes, passes that looked like runs, jailbreak screen formations, sending enormous, mostly-blocking tight ends 50 yards downfield to catch the ball, and other such insanity. Capping one such drive, Purdue RB Ralph Bolden ran 10 yards for 6 points, and the Boilermakers lined up after the extra point to return the ball to Freshman Messiah Tate Forcier...but the ball bounced ten yards into the air and was promptly recovered by Purdue. Surprise onside kick! The very next play, Elliot found WR Cortez Smith in the end zone from 54 yards out. And there's 14 points in nine seconds. It would be safe to say that the Wolverines did not know what hit them and probably still don't. Onside kicks are normally viewed as desperation maneuvers saved for the end of a game when raising the white flag is almost certain. Pulling one out when nobody expects it - and executing to textbook perfection - is a genius maneuver that breaks monotony and jazzes up the entire team. Especially when the team in question, who has not beaten Michigan at Michigan since 1966, wins it 38-36! Fun Fact: The last time Purdue and Michigan met, Purdue won in a game where 90 points were scored between the two contestants. Mighty Minced Oaths, these guys are more offensive than belching at the dinner table!

This has not happened since the Johnson Administration. This has not happened since before the moon landing. This has not happened since before the Internet. Source: Purdue Exponent

Football Nuttery at Work, Round N: I conclude this entry by describing an incident that happened yesterday afternoon. For appropriate background, the Football Team at the University Where I Work won this past weekend, but was the victim of a few outrageously bad ref calls along the way, including one for "kick catch interference."  After watching replays of this incident over and over, I concluded it was a bogus call: the designated return man tripped into the turf and was untouched. The distance between the defender flagged for interference and the ball was approximately the same distance between Missouri and Moscow. As the boys still ended up winning, I grumbled and put the incident out of my mind. On Monday afternoon, I began the task of sorting through a pile of paperwork that I would swear has been mating on my desk, and went to visit the head of my research group about a serious matter contained in said paperwork. As I was turning to leave his office, he stops me cold and says "So. How 'bout that kick interference call?" Tension gone! Fans: sometimes, a little pigskin pitch can help file the most frustrating of forms!

NFL news tomorrow, including a few woeful thoughts on the Bears/Cards disaster.

*Why is this singular? Shouldn't it be "cardinals" or a modifier (e.g. "cardinal sin?") Why is their logo a tree? What is going on with this team, anyway?

EDIT: I realized I had to get some facts about UConn/Cincy straight. After the cleanup on aisle 9, things are the way they should be.

Week 8! Trickery, Tragedy, and Tight End Woes

Ahhh. My fancy seminar went well, new compounds are going off for anticancer testing, and the cool air of fall now descends (upon most people in the US, at any rate). What better way to celebrate the season of football...then by writing about it?

Ridiculously Sick Play, Part the First: The gun-happy Indianapolis Colts, despite being undefeated, have absolutely no running game to speak of, and are ranked 30th in rushing yardage. Against San Francisco, it looked to be another long afternoon for RB Joseph Addai. Addai, no longer trading carries with the injured Donald Brown, who was held to a measly 3.1 yards per rushing attempt. At the start of the fourth quarter, it wasn't looking promising. The Colts were down by two and Peyton Manning had yet to stumble into the end zone. Manning, under a two-tight end set, handed off to Addai, who ran backwards, drawing defenders into thinking they had his sweep blown up in the backfield. Addai then lobbed the ball 22 yards downfield to a completely naked Reggie Wayne for the touchdown. (Highlights c/o NFL.com) Trick-Or-Treat! Fun Fact: In his four seasons with the Indy Stampede, this was Addai's first pass attempt, and first pass completion. 

Congrats, Mr. Addai - You currently have the league's highest QB rating! I am so glad you're on my fantasy team! Source: Simon Bruty, Sports Illustrated.

Drew Brees! Drew Brees! Drew Brees! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! I have to admit, this category was tough this week. Brees completed 25/33 passes and lead the Scoring Machines through a preposterously wild and emotional roller-coaster of a game against Atlanta - and won. In the Vikes' hotly acrimonious over-hyped return to Lambeau Field, however, Brett Favre passed for 244 yards and four touchdowns. He is 40 years old, and this is the 21st time in his career that he has done this. Holy Statistics, Batman! 

But The Joke Wrote Itself! in non-football news, there is quite the tragedy unfolding in Cleveland: 11 dead bodies were found in the home of a registered sex offender, only one of which has been identified. The heartbreaking, gruesome details can be found here. (c/o CNN) Warning: the subject matter is not for children or the faint of heart. Don't say I didn't warn you.) Even though I'm probably going to be condemned to some horrible place for saying this:* the conclusion is very obvious. Eleven dead bodies in Cleveland? Stop the presses, we've found the Browns' offense! They score an average of 9.8 points per game!

Ridiculously Sick Play, Part the Second: In the 4th quarter of Monday night's Bayou shootout, the Saints were in the red zone and poised to score. Brees ran a three-tight end set, RB Pierre Thomas swung outside and caught a short pass, and from the goal line, executed a diving, twisting backflip over the converging defenders and his own lineman for the score. (NFL/ESPN) And the judges held up perfect "10"s for the acrobatics. 

Pierre Thomas picks up seven points and the gold medal in Mens' Pole Vaulting. Source: AP, Bill Feig.

Amusing Announcing: In a college game, Wisconsin was flagged for a false start. ESPN2's Ray Bentley, who has made this category before for his witty rhymes, quipped "Whoa, he got a little jiggle in his wiggle too early." Additionally, during MNF's Fastest Three Minutes, Chris Berman described the Packers' defensive backs as "a seven-ten-split...And they all fall down!" and also referred to a certain Colts RB as Joseph "Live and Let" Addai. Congrats on the clever commentating!

Special Teams that are Truly Special and Not Special: Continuing our whirlwind tour of the highlight reel, the most incredible special teams play of the week goes to...the St. Louis Rams. As you now wipe whatever beverage you were drinking off your computer screen, let me describe the scenario. Ahh, Detroit vs. St. Louis. A combined 2-13. In a game where neither quarterback could pass for over 200 yards and where an interception return somehow ended in a safety, the score was an astonishing 3-2 with one minute to play in the half. Rams kicker Josh Brown lined up to kick for three. His holder caught the snap and tossed the ball to Brown, who dumped it off to fullback Daniel Fells, who then jogged into the end zone. Brown not only got credit for the touchdown pass by this little game of "hot potato", but also kicked the extra point and a field goal, accounting for 10 of the Rams' 17 points. Statistic O' Suckage: these 17 points coincidentally ended the Rams' 17-game losing streak. Magnifico! (NFL/FOX)

Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: I thought it was a shoe-in. Lead by vengeful Aaron Rodgers, pass-happy Addai, Bears wideouts vs. Cleveland, and power-back Jacobs, it seemed like a sure deal. I was even playing against Peyton Manning during that rare, auspicious week where Peyton Manning does absolutely nothing. The 'Nukes put up an absurd amount of points - and STILL lost! @%$#!! And where did I blow it? At tight end, of course! At this point, I could write an entire doctoral dissertation on the Boss/Celek/Shiancoe decision - and successfully defend it. I could get up in front of the Senate and petition congress to permanently switch all fantasy leagues to a two-TE flex option. I could write volumes of epic poetry and soulful rock ballads - complete with endless repetitions of whooa ooah hoooa whoaah! - about how badly I've screwed up at tight end this season. One might go like this:

Favre's got his receivers; Harvin, Rice, and such

But I went and started Shiancoe, hoping he'd do just as much

He scored against the Pack before - I thought he'd do the same. 

Alas, it did not matter; he was painted green all game!

I opted to bench Celek - he was looking kind of meek

But in what was only game that Philly won all week

Donovan and and the Eagles built a funeral pyre

And tossed the G-men is as Celek lit the field on fire.

And with that, I'm out. Remember kids: If you're forced to cover Steven Jackson, you're up against a battering Ram.

*My heart goes out to all of the victims and their families. 

Week 6, In Which Everybody Scored

For some reason, it seemed like there were an inordinate amount of points being scored in week 6. Did anyone else get this impression? Shootouts, shutouts, blowouts, blackouts - everyone who could score did score!*

Run Up The Score, Much?: Time for some earth logic. If a rival coach is talking smack about you, what do you do?

A) Nothing. Discretion is, after all, the better part of valor;

B) Invite him out for a beer and talk about it like men, proving you can keep your cool;

C) Run up the score on his hapless team to the point where he goes out of his head and wears a Peyton Manning jersey at a charity event? (Bitten and Bound), thus proving to the entire country that your team is darn good, but you're a classless toad;

Well, Bill Belichick, have we got your answer or what? It was rumored that Titans head coach Jeff Fisher launched a little lip over the Patriots' tactics and that there was a lot of bad blood swirling about, (Yahoo) and Brady and Co. retaliated by absolutely beating the Titans' swords into plowshares, shutting them out by 59 points. The Titans aimlessly skittered around in the snow in Foxboro, fumbled six times, and amassed a whole -7 passing yards, while Brady threw for six touchdowns and the Pats rolled for over 600 yards of offense. Belichick later remarked that he was just "just trying to run our offense" and "I know the score got out of hand."(New England Sports Network) Really? Got out of hand?! This makes absolutely zero sense. Does a serial killer who's got a premeditated body count of twenty come out and say that "it got out of hand?"  

I'm going nuts, I'm going nuts, I'm going nuts, I'm going nuts, I'm going nuts, we can't be 0-6, I'm going nuts...Source: Tennessee Football from Every Angle.

Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre Drew Brees, Drew Brees, Drew Brees!: Favre's sole achievement of the week was "not losing to Baltimore," and he was outperformed by Joe Flacco. However, in Monday Night's ESPN poll of which quarterback shone the brightest in week 6, everybody but the state of Massachusetts voted for Drew Brees, who threw 23/20 for 369 yards and an astonishing 4 touchdowns. He was not running up the score against a winless opponent, but rather, single-handedly dismantling the secondary of the New York Giants, who had the best combined defensive unit in the entire NFL. After he was satisfied, he simply sat on the bench and let the backups finish the game. And the Scoring Machines continue to dominate the NFC!

Truly Special Special Teams: In the 4th quarter, Atlanta was driving and poised to score again. However, on third down, Bears rookie FS Al Afalava got in the way of Matt Ryan's target (tight end Tony Gonzalez) forcing the Falcons to punt. Devin Hester lined up deep to receive, and within one second of the fair catch signal the penalty flags flew. The reason? Chicago had 12 men on the field, and Al Michaels groaned "Now there is a major foul-up." Oi vey. Although Chicago went on to intercept Ryan's next pass and march it back for a touchdown, it's the principle of the thing already!

Good Sir, it appears you dropped something! The Bears' foul-ups on Sunday night also kept my father from sleeping. Source: William DeShazer, Chicago Tribune.

Special Teams That Are Actually Special, and NOT Special: Monday night's Bolts/Broncos skirmish marked the first time in NFL history that both teams had a kick return for a touchdown. San Diego's Darren Sproles zoomed down the field, running between the legs of slow defenders, and Denver had two, which I think comprised about half of their total yardage. In other news, the DSM-IV now categorizes "kicking to Eddie Royal" as a disorder that merits one's removal from society and locking in a padded cell. 

Amusing Announcing: Jim Zorn, while not fired yet, is now not allowed to call plays after the 'Skins lost to the winless Chiefs. Someone remarked to Second and One on Tuesday, "If I lived in DC, I'd want Zorn locked in a cage with Tom Cable for half an hour." Apparently it's pretty bad. A series of commentators on the NFL network discussed the number of people who are currently crying, Merchant of Venice-style, for a pound of Zorn's flesh. Without explicitly re-stating the allegory, one of them then began "Well, I don't want his flesh!" Which is just an...odd turn of phrase. Of course, this "not calling plays" nonsense begs the question of what Zorn is still doing in Washington. Is he the team's mascot or something?

Additionally, in the depressing Bears-Falcons contest, NBC announcers extolled the Bears' offense after dominating the Lions "last week." The problem with this is that the Bears didn't dominate anyone last week - they were on bye! Please, announcers! Make sure brain is engaged before mouth is opened!

Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: It's not looking good. The Fighting Nucleophiles, official fantasy team of Second and One, have lost for the third straight week, despite putting up 90 points! I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong, beyond invoking the Just Plain Bad Luck principle. How was I supposed to know I would only score three points between two running backs (Morris, who was injured in the opening minutes of the Pats/Titans game, and Jacobs, who was all but stuffed and displayed as a trophy by the Saints), or that Baltimore's defense, who only allowed 100 yards on the ground once in of its last 40 games, would roll over and absolutely die against Adrian Peterson? Of course, my receiving core (Knox/Hester, Welker, Holmes) is also inconsistent, and I'm using all sorts of dodgy stochastic methods to decide who to start at tight end (and I'm wrong about 80% of the time, it seems). However, this week it is impossible for me to lose. I have stacked the deck in my favor. Rodgers against Cleveland, Addai and the Colts' D against St. Louis, Welker against the narcoleptic Buccaneers, Holmes against the Vikes, who will force Roethlisberger to throw all day, Celek against Washington** and Sidney Rice, who has been Favre-lous! If the 'Nukies blow another one, I will conclude my team is cursed!

This is all for now; I'm at work and need to actually do so!

*Well, except for the Bears, who statistically outperformed Atlanta in every conceivable category and still lost the %#!&ing game because they just couldn't get it in the end zone. It was like watching a bad version of Star Wars. Negative. It didn't go in, just impacted on the surface!

***Alternatively, Visanthe Shiancoe against Pittsburgh, who couldn't cover a tight end with water if asked to.

Week 2!

Before I get to the rest of the news: The Bears beat the Steelers! The Bears beat the Steelers! Even without Urlacher and Polamalu, both teams played spectacular defense. Both teams looked solid offensively - Cutler and Company did not turn the ball over once. The lynchpin: Steelers kicker Jeff Reed* missed two field goals, setting up the Monsters of the Midway with good field position and just enough time on the clock to march back down the field, where Robbie Gould's golden right foot booted it through the uprights for the win. And the game ended with a Steelers fumble! Absolute perfection.

I nearly had a total coronary watching this game at home. I seriously thought I was going to croak in front of the TV set. And I can imagine it now: they would find my body two days later. Still clad in my Bears jersey, my arms would be fixed above my head by rigor mortis, signaling that indeed, even though I had gone to the great blogosphere in the sky, Gould's kick was still good!

"We did it! We did it! OMG! We did it!" "Um. Robbie. People are staring." Source: Chicago Tribune.

Punter v. Scoreboard, Redux: Man, did the Giants rain on the inaugural parade down in Dallas or what? Tony Romo threw three interceptions and finished with a quarterback rating of 29.6, compared to Eli Manning's 110.6! But nevermind the stats: the big item on everyone's mind was the scoreboard.  My friend and I put the over-under on "number of footballs to hit the thing" at 2, I took the under, and was right. According to NBC, who loves it almost as much as Jerry Jones does, the scoreboard is 90 feet in the air, so one would have to kick really high in order to hit it, and perhaps AJ Trapasso's controversial doink was a fluke. Still. It'll be amusing to hear the whole crowd gasp whenever someone goes 3-and-out in the place. 

Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Brett Favre! Drew Brees! Drew Brees! Drew Brees! Random stat o' the day: In his first two NFL games of the season, Drew Brees has thrown nine touchdowns. The Saints have scored a combined 93 points on Detroit and Philadelphia. What are they going to do to Buffalo?

Anyway, more to come later, perhaps college news/scores? I've been terribly delinquent in updating!

*Was he drunk? In need of a towel dispenser to vandalize? Upset because more pictures of his nether regions were on the internet?