I've been pretty lousy at updating, I know. I've had a few days this week that weren't exactly worth getting out of bed for. So, onto the football. I also realize I'm lousy at writing introductory paragraphs for whatever reason. I need to work on this. I've spent weeks upon weeks writing manuscripts and patent disclosures and all sorts of sterile, technical blather. It's like work has sucked the proverbial marrow out of my creativity.
Another One Bites The Dust: Oh boy. Four weeks in and people are already wondering what idiots made the top 25 rankings. #23 (North Carolina State) and #11 (Wisconsin) both lost to teams ranked either lower (in the latter case) or not ranked at all (the former). My personal favorite Upset O' The Week: unranked Washington knocking out a ranked USC team (this year, # 18) for the second year in a row. They supposedly kicked the game-winning three points after USC's kicker doinked one off the upright several minutes earlier. I saw part of this contest, and Washington honestly looked like a bunch of guys who met at a frat party for the first time the night before the game - no ability to cover the run and no ability to catch a ball without dropping it. Kudos to them for sobering up after halftime. There was a lot of action in the Pac-10 last night.
Amusing Announcing: During between-game blather on ESPN, a commentator (perhaps Lou Holtz) referred to the LSU Tigers as the "Bayou Bengals." I must confess, this is one I've never heard before and it made me laugh. Are we allowed to call the TCU Horned Frogs the "Horny Toads" on TV yet? What's next? Caddyshack jokes about Minnesota?
Now if only the Gophers would stop blowing themselves up. Heh. Heh. See what I did there? Source: AP, Paul Battaglia.
Random Bonus Statistic: The Montana State Bobcats and the Sacramento State Hornets (both Division I-AA), played a game in which 125 points were scored and 1,270 total yards of offense were accumulated. Montana State won the game, 64-61. Where were the defenses in this game, sitting on the bus watching television?
Funny Name Alert (and another Random Bonus Statistic): Ohio State, excuse me, The Ohio State, is the only university football program where the head coach, offensive coordinator, and defensive coordinator all have the same first name. We speak, respectively, of Jim Tressel, Jim Bollman, and Jim Heacock. Also, according to the program's website, the team has 57 people on its coaching staff, including a person in charge of "defensive quality control". Perhaps we should send him to the teams listed above. I don't even think there are 57 people on the staff roster in my department, come to think of it.
Graduates Of the Bill Belicheck School of Opponent Demoralization, Blowout-tacular Summa Cum Laude Edition: Boise State (#3), TCU (#5), Auburn (#10), California (Pasadena) and S. Carolina State scored a combined 215 points, to a combined 3 by the opponents. Other notable blowouts include Drake (59-zip over Marist), and Eastern Kentucky (whose mascot looks disturbingly like Colonel Sanders) Kentucky-frying KY State 58-7.
Graduates of the Dick Jauron "We Can't Find The End Zone" School: Division III Muskingum University defeated the Wilmington of Ohio Quakers by a blazingly impressive score of 3-0.
Dear Tennessee: Thirteen? As everyone besides me has already remarked, that's too many even in Canada. Source: AP, Patrick Semansky.
This is a Gun, This Is My Foot: At the end of the day, it looked like LSU (#12) was going down to the Tennessee Volunteers. LSU, on the final drive of the game (and furious attempt to score) tried to bleed the clock to zero, and then somehow goofed up the snap. The entire Tennessee bench started to run onto the field in celebration over the upset. But wait. What's that penalty flag doing there? The officials ruled that Tennessee did not only have twelve men on the field - they had thirteen. Gosh, that's unlucky. Since a game cannot end with a defensive penalty, LSU got another shot, where the ball was quickly punched into the end zone by RB Stevan Ridley (from one yard out). Ouch. Supposedly the ending of this game was so nasty, with helmets and headsets flying, that I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually got shot and this wasn't just a metaphor.
Pro commentary to come. I mean it this time.
*Although, can we stop with the Jake Locker/Denard Robinson hype, please? When either of these guys goes 10-2, sends their team to the Rose Bowl, and wins the thing, we'll talk about the Heisman.
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