This just in...

I know, everyone is still reeling from the USA's anticlimactic World Cup implosion against Ghana, or happy/upset over having to watch Germany/Argentina annihilate everyone they play. There's still a few hilarious things happening in football, however, (the other football: the one without the low scoring, bad acting, and endlessly buzzing vuvuzelas). Did you hear that a woman actually burst her windpipe blatting away on one of those things for hours on end? (UK Daily Mail)

My favorite story from the past two days: Detroit Lions president Tom Lewand was arrested in Michigan (following a charity golf game) for driving with a blood alcohol level over twice the state's legal limit - after telling police that he was the designated driver. (ESPN) I don't know what to say about this, but if I were president of the Lions, I'd probably be drinking too.

As the World Turns...

I listed the humiliating offseason collapse of the Titans as #2 on the year's all-time bad psychology rankings. I'd hate to say this, but it keeps getting worse. Over the background of Chris Johnson's workout-skipping and seemingly endless bleating about his contract and this banter about whether or not Commissioner Goodell with discipline Vince Young, we now find out that Titans rookie DE Derrick Morgan was arrested on Wednesday for speeding. Badly. (The Tennessean). Did I also mention that requests to re-open the case of slain former Titans QB Steve McNair have all been denied? (ESPN and other sources) Jumpin Jehosephat, I honestly can't think of what else can go wrong for the Titans at this point. Political campaign contributions? Methamphetamine? Smuggling weapons to Al Qaeda? A gay sex scandal involving players from a division rival team? An official decree from the governor of Tennessee to drown the entire organization in the Cumberland River?

In other news, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation has released/leaked 572 pages of records detailing the investigations surrounding Ben Roethlisberger's sexual assault allegation from earlier this year. A small chunk of it can be found over at The Smoking Gun (fine purveyors of pop culture bilge since 1997). Warning: It's got some bad words and likely not safe for work/little ones because (if events actually transpired this way) it's beyond creepy. I skimmed through a few pages of it out of morbid curiosity, and only thing that really caught my eye (if anything can be amusing in a rape case) were the approximately eighteen different spellings of Roethlisberger's name in the police statements.

Until the blog goes down, I'm actually thinking of making the Second and One Police Blotter a regular feature. I just need to come up with a good name for it. Sheet O' Slander? Journal O' Justice? Dossier O' Dumbassery? 

And we'll end with a bit of Bears fanservice: the Tribune yesterday did a nice photomontage of WR Johnny Knox's rookie season, and the following picture, where Knox shows Seattle kicker Olindo Mare his Heisman pose, got a good laugh out of me:

PWNED. (source: Tribbie).

So Here's What's Happening.

18 months ago, when I started this blog, Second and One, it was a distraction from some unpleasant things in my life. And it worked. It worked very well as a place for me to harmlessly divert energies that would have been (plausibly) destructively wasted elsewhere - I took all of this energy and used it to write about something I truly do love: football.

Then, it became a challenge for myself, where I sat down and said "If I write a blog where an average person simply writes about news and feelings about the sport in a safe yet matter-of-fact way, will anyone actually read it?" And about a year later, we have our answer: no. Despite months and months of ashamedly pimping this site on Facebook, etc., readership remains extremely low and I've tried several events to get people to participate more (polls, etc.) to no avail. 

Couple this with the fact that I'm very busy at work these days and getting ready to move into a new, amped-up phase of my career, and the balance between the time it takes for me to actually do the research, find credible sources (and then express this material in an engaging manner, even when I'm not feeling humorous) and what feedback I get back on it gives me diminishing returns. Additionally, I have no way to assess readership or circulation beyond the use of a cheesy "hit counter" or the like (which is hard to do in Blogger), because I had to lock the comments to prevent spammers from posting inappropriate material.

So Second and One is going offline because I don't have the time/energy to commit to it anymore given what is coming out of it. I've had someone recommend that I try and get it syndicated, but this involves more time and energy and is essentially a crapshoot. I've had people say, "Just update more frequently." Well, this is hard to do in the offseason when there's no news on the radar for months, and it's also rather difficult to do when I work a job that, some weeks, demands 50+ hours of my time.

I've also gotten allusions to the "why don't you make it more like [insert name of popular sports blog here?]" routine. Simple answer: I shouldn't have to sacrifice something I liked doing, in the way I liked doing it, to fit someone else's mold (and this would come with syndication as well).  And I shouldn't have to make this blog something it isn't - sensationalist, crude, or vulgar - to attract readership. I shouldn't have to emulate someone from ESPN or Deadspin. I shouldn't have to perpetuate unfair stereotypes of certain players, or post pictures of half-naked girls, or use rhetoric that's misogynistic, racially insensitive, or just plain raunchy. This is/was meant to be witty rambling about football and the teams and players we love, and there's plenty of wiggle room for the subtle idiocy and innuendo, but it's not some saucy, profane manifesto of how I want to strangle whoever I started at running back during fantasy season. 

And perhaps I'm not qualified to even write about this subject. Sure, I watch a lot of football, I read a lot of football news, I go to plenty college and to pro games, I get lots of peoples' opinions - but beyond the occasional game of flag footie, I've never played (and I could go into why but that's *really* beside the point here). Maybe it is tantamount to asking someone who's never been in the military to write a detailed account of a tour in Afghanistan, and maybe it's not. Maybe I should write a blog about something I know very well: random humor, political stuff, writing fiction, or what hydrogenation catalysts light on fire spontaneously. The point is, short of my father and a few friends, nobody cares what I have to say here, and I find the whole notion rather depressing now.

So here's the order of events here. Posting will continue semi-regularly until the end of July. August 1st, "2ndand1.blogspot.com" will be abandoned. There may be another "save the blog"-rally then, but it's unlikely. I'm sorry for anyone I may offend, upset, or inconvenience with this action. Thanks to everyone who participated in this experiment.

Comments are open.

MC

Founder/Blogger

Second and One

Bad Psychology Addendum, 2

Texas and (Ch)Oklahoma have elected to stay put in the Big 12. Nonetheless, interconference shenanigans are still ongoing - The Pac-10 11 12 has extended an offer to Utah, who has all but accepted. (Deseret News). The Utes are apparently a nomadic tribe, now moving into the sixth conference they've been in. 

A University of Utah alum (read as: one of my sports-crazed colleagues) expressed borderline violence when he learned of the news, and called Utah's move "traitorous," as it breaks up the school's biggest rivalry - with BYU. Additionally, the president of the University of Utah is a BYU alum, and the president of Brigham Young University is a Utah alum. With all of this information in hand, I will jump on the bandwagon: What are they thinking?!

Bad Psychology Addendum:

In light of the last post's #3 entry: It's not happening. News breaks today that MSU head coach Tom Izzo is staying at MSU, (ESPN), and there will be no purple Kool-Aid-style mass suicide in East Lansing, MI. 

More to come later that's actually about football. 

National Bad Psychology Month

I know. I've been heinously delinquent in updating this thing, but I can't hold off any longer. All of football - both college and professional - are full of outright bad psychology these days!

What, do you ask, constitutes "bad psychology?" I've mentioned it before. "Bad psychology" is where one, or a few (comparatively minor) connected events act as a catalyst to seemingly shift the karmic balance of an entire team/division/conference/league from positive to negative - sometimes in a matter of hours or days. It's the sporting equivalent of forgetting your keys in the morning, and this minor annoyance then leads to you being late for work, which leads to your boss chewing you out - and after a few more hours, you've been rained on, stung by bees, chased by a madman with a machete, and you come home to find out that your house has burned down. Like that. So here are Second and One's Top 5 Worst Karmic Sucker-Punches of summer football news, in order of how increasingly mouth-puckeringly sour they are.

#5. The Big-12 Conference Calamity

Catalyst: The Big 10 conference offered the Nebraska Cornhuskers the opportunity to join the fun and form effectively a Big 12 of the East. The Huskers accepted.(Omaha World-Herald). While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, my mass spectroscopist (the biggest Huskers fan this side of the Mississippi) says it makes no sense whatsoever and argues that everything is the University of Texas' fault for "de-stabilizing" the conference with their constant "greed" and desire to have bowl games in Texas. On the Big(11)10 side, conference purists make many arguments against this move, including geographical proximity or lack thereof, "what about Cincy/Pitt/Mizzou/Notre Dame?", and such statements as "who gives a crap if IU plays Nebraska but IU and Nebraska?"

Fallout: The rest of the conferences have effectively decided to follow suit, thus making the "who's going where" speculation machine crank up to eleven, err, twelve. Thus far we've got: Boise State jumping ship to the Mountain West conference, Colorado departing for the Pac-10, Texas and Texas Tech trying to debate whether to stay in the Big 12 or join the Pac-10 (or worse yet, the SEC), Mizzou furiously declaring its desire to save the fragmenting conference, and a bunch of hearsay about where Texas A&M is going to end up. (ESPN) End result: My colleagues and I now require a complicated system of score pads, betting sheets, and gratuitous arguing to sort it out. 

#4. The NFC North's Nitwits

Catalyst: It all started in Minnesota. The Vikings have had more drama than daytime TV, including Brett Favre's retirement non-retirement, the heart-stopping NFC championship game last year, AP and Bernard Berrian's speeding tickets, Brad Childress in drag, the Love Boat scandal - It's like having jock itch; you just can't get rid of it! The latest fiasco comes with defensive tackles Kevin and Pat Williams (the infamous Williams Wall), who were caught in violation of the League's substance abuse policy for taking a banned diuretic that was supposed to only show up in a weight-loss supplement intended for women. Last I checked, nobody knew what the judge in this case was doing or whether they'll be suspended for four games or not so I won't post any links. It doesn't stop the unpleasant whispering in the ear of karma, however. 

Fallout: The bad news appears to have spread to Green Bay, where, earlier this month, CB Brandon Underwood faced claims that he sexually assaulted two women following a charity golf outing. This also comes on the heels of defensive lineman Johnny Jolly's drug arrest in Houston, and something about TE Spencer Havner riding a motorcycle while drunk. Aye-freakin' Caramba. (NFL.com). Whatever this is, I hope it stops at the Wisconsin/Illinois border!

Or maybe at the Wisconsin/Michigan border. Like these poor guys need any more drama. (Life Magazine)

#3. Maimed MSU's March Madness Mortification? 

Catalyst: Everyone knows what happened to MSU last season: the multiple dismissals and suspensions served as mere preamble to the Spartans' bowl-game collapse against the Texas Tech Red Raiders.

Fallout: MSU fans were eager to avenge their spectacular on-and-off-field destruction during basketball season. While they didn't do badly in the tournament, news has now surfaced that MSU basketball coach, the legendary, hoarse-voiced Tom Izzo, may leave to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers. This move would be to keep LeBron James from going to the Chicago Bulls (or elsewhere) and taking most of the economy of Cleveland out with him. This registers as our #3 entry because it affects multiple sports and may effectively tear the bowels out of an entire fan-base. It's gotten SO desperate in Michigan that the state's congressmen have even written to Izzo. Sadly, I am not making this up. (ESPN)

#2. A Titanic Travesty in Tennessee:

Catalyst: Titans QB Vince Young, long considered an upstanding citizen if not a bit dramatic, was nailed on early Sunday morning with a class C assault charge after he punched a man at a Dallas strip club who made derogatory statements and gestures about Young's alma mater. (ESPN) Everyone reading no doubt realizes that if the Titans lose Vince Young, that, short of having Kenny Britt throw the ball downfield and run to catch it, they're shafted at the QB position, unless Kerry Collins miraculously grows 10 years younger overnight.

Fallout: The painful psychological snowball didn't stop there. This morning, the NFL announced the suspension of LB Gerald McRath, who also violated the League's substance-abuse policy and is now balking loudly, claiming he took a "tainted supplement." (National football post has minor details) Ouch! Two kicks to the metaphorical groin in one day! And it got even worse. Paul Kuharsky's AFC South Blog reports that at Titans practice today, an offensive lineman and defensive end got into an altercation that involved flying helmets and Jeff Fisher blowing up, and all of this happened amid a nasty, persistent argument between WR Nate Washington and CB Cortland Finnegan!* (ESPN, Now, whether either Washington or Finnegan was out of line or if this progressed any further beyond normal practice-field jawing is beside the point) - it's just another cherry on top of an already enormously barbaric banana split of blasphemy. This entry makes #2 because it's two nasty events that caused team morale to utterly collapse within 24 hours, and it follows a season in which the Titans were already on their way to Palookaville.

For Second and One's second revision of the Titans logo, it was either this or a giant middle finger.

#1. The AFC South's Steroid Shakeup and Southern California

Catalyst: Old news, but Brian Cushing, a rookie linebacker for the Houston Texans (and rookie of the year!) has been suspended for four games for testing positive for a banned substance. The substance: hCG, the hormone that pregnancy tests look for. It can be often used as a masking agent for anabolic steroids.

Fallout: A re-vote was held for rookie of the year,** and Cushing promptly won again, despite the allegations. Were those voting hiding under a rock for two weeks?! Additionally, another source (read as: "someone anonymously posting on the internet," claimed steroids were rampant among the linebacking corps at USC, although I'm not sure I buy it - The only thing Clay Matthews is guilty of is looking a bit too much like AJ Hawk for my tastes). Oh, and speaking of USC, the bad psychology from the Cushing flap obviously spread to his alma mater, which has now been slapped with numerous sanctions by the NCAA, including probations, loss of scholarships, a two-year bowl ban, and multiple win forfeits. (SI). Supposedly, the violations had to do with handouts to recruits (most noticeably, Saints RB Reggie Bush) and their families, inaccurate declarations of eligibility, and "lack of institutional control." Well, whatever that is, it's all Brian Cushing's fault, and he's earned the #1 spot on our list.

More to come later.

*Is there anyone/anything these two haven't yelled at? Let's get them in a room with Philip Rivers - or is it too early for fireworks?

**Second and One's alternative nominees: Clay Matthews (Green Bay), Pierre Garcon, Austin Collie (Both out of Indianapolis)