Ahhhh...

I swear, every football fan alive must love it when they go out in public on game day, wearing some piece of team regalia, and see other people, who are wearing pieces of team regalia, approve wholeheartedly of their choice in apparel. 

Case in point: where I live, even though it's not in Illinois, there is actually a fairly high population of Bears fans. I went to the grocery store today wearing my Devin Hester jersey (as I am anxious and excited to see what the Windy City Flyer will do in his first preseason game returning punts tonight. Probably nothing, but what the heck.) As I browsed around in the vitamin aisle, I noticed a guy wearing a Robbie Gould jersey. I thought about saying something witty, like "Hey man, are you kicking tonight?" but before I could, this fellow gives me the once over, half-smiles, and nods approvingly, as if to say "Well-played, my friend. Well-played." Like there's some kind of secret Bears Fan Illuminati that can't be openly discussed, but is totally awesome nonetheless.

Saturday, Saints, and Scandals

So nevermind the Eagles running various tandem Vick/McNabb wildcat formations and the fact that the Lions actually won a game for what seems like the first time since the car was invented, did anybody see the Saints/Raiders game yesterday?  45-7? The game was an absolute joke. I don't know what the presentiment for the whole thing ending so badly was, to be honest. For one, I'm not sure how anyone can play on the same field as the Oakland As, so watching Jeremy Shockey and ilk running around on a baseball field in the extreme heat -and actually doing well- was even more of a cognitive dissonance than Shockey playing for the Saints to begin with. 

Man alive, New Orleans is looking awfully sharp! Drew Brees still knows how to steer an offense. They need to iron out some bugs (for example, rookies should know the proper number of men to have on the field by now), but despite the creases, it looks like they might be the team to beat in the NFC south this year, if this is any indication.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, what the heck's happened to the Raiders? It's not dated to say that they've been questionable since, well, approximately forever, but when a team's first line of defense is struggling against an inexperienced 3rd string offense, there are some serious issues. Also: Tom Cable is still the mad bomber, and still knows how to go red in the face and throw a challenge flag forty yards, just to make sure that it can be seen by EVERYONE, including people watching from space. Sadly, this still means there is only one person in the entire Raiders organization who can throw anything over 10 yards without having it intercepted.

I feel bad for the Raiders fans, most of which were gone by the start of the second half, but I feel even worse for the Sons of Toil at the Raiders Television Network, who brought the game to NFL network. Here are these poor three announcers, in their Raiders polo shirts, up in the booth where there is a heat index of about 150F, having to state "touchdown Saints" in the same deadpan monotone, over, and over, and over.  It was probably the equivalent of Favre ending up in the underworld with 10,000 Packer fans with the same vendetta.

***

Moving from the pros into college, an astute reporter at the Detroit Free Press has uncovered some shifty things happening at the University of Michigan (ESPN).  Five players, who wish to remain anonymous, cite that the football program and coach Rich Rodriguez violated NCAA rules by making players allot more time to training and workouts than is allowed by the Association. There are details coming out now of 11-hour practice days, excessive workouts, and lack of emphasis on important things like injury prevention and, well, academics. Nevermind my own personal beef with UofM,* this is serious business here, especially if it goes up all the way to the university's compliance officers. Perhaps more disturbing is this: suppose, playing Devil's Advocate, that these allegations aren't true. There must be an absolute load of Bad Stuff going on, then, in order for players to make the allegations. I don't know.  Adam Rittenberg at ESPN talks in a much more eloquent manner about the repercussions of Michigangate than I ever could. 

We're t-1 week away from kickoff, and I'm like a little kid on Christmas Eve. Stay tuned as Second and One attempts to answer important questions! How will the preseason end? Will Favre see more playing time with the Vikings, or just more acrimony? Will Orton and Cutler both forget who they play for tonight and screw everything up? Will Philip Rivers use his contract extension to purchase a megaphone so he can yell even louder? Will the Saints go marching out once season play starts? Is what's going on at Michigan worthy of the Death Penalty, or the biggest academic mutual misunderstanding since David Mamet wrote Oleanna?** Am I speculating too much and asking too many topical questions? We'll find out!

*They rejected me from grad school in some applied field of chemistry or another, many years ago. I think that was it. Or maybe I've just hung around with too many people from Michigan State? Six of one, half a dozen of the other?

** It doesn't end well. And what's this? A culture joke in a football blog?! KILL THE HERETIC!

Preseason Week 2!

In May, the new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys debuted the world's largest HD LED video scoreboard. (gizmodo). This thing costs, last estimate I heard, approximately 40 million dollars, and has got very impressive specs. It's the crowning achievement of Jerry Jones' football empire down in Dallas.

And last night, AJ Trapasso (Titans, who makes 2ndand1 for the second time this season, and there's still a whole lot of football to play) punted a football into it. (iViewTube) While no damage was done, there are a lot of logistical-type questions along the lines of "is a ball considered dead if it hits a part of the stadium" and "how far above the field does the live ball rule extend?" Another question is "can we move the screen?" Unfortunately, moving the screen is estimated to cost two million dollars itself. The most important question, of course, is this: is this a punting fail or a stadium design fail? Jerry Jones claims Trapasso intentionally punted the ball into the screen. Sure. This logic is like saying that when a running back fumbles the ball on the half-yard line, that he later goes to a nightclub and says "Oh yes. I meant to do that."

***

And now, my thoughts on the Michael Vick situation. I had the Colts/Eagles game on the other night, and the announcers obviously didn't care much about the game after the Colts were ahead by ten or so, and it the chatter up in the booth was Michael Vick this, and Michael Vick that - If Michael Vick wants to play football, fine. I just don't believe Michael Vick should be allowed to play football. During a hushed press conference, Vick announced that he has learned his lesson and made a "mistake." I have a problem with this. Logically, this is not a mistake. He makes it seem like it was a lapse in judgement or an accident. Trapasso punting the ball into the screen was an accident. Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg was an accident (albeit a really jackass one.) Al Haynesworth (now playing for the Redskins) who lost it when he played for the Titans, threw Dallas center Andre Gurode to the ground, and then danced a merry jig on his face (and later admitted that he had a serious anger management problem), made a mistake. When Lance Briggs (Chicago LB) crashed his Lamborghini on the highway and freaked out, he made a mistake. When the Vikings signed Brett Favre, they made...oh, nevermind. But deliberately leading a dogfighting ring on your property is not a mistake. It is as premeditated as if I were to walk into my most annoying colleague's house tomorrow and shoot him.* And if Vick chalks the whole thing up to a mistake, he obviously isn't realizing the error of his ways and is being coached on what to say. The Eagles organization should honestly be ashamed of itself. Here's an open letter to the Eagles Fans Who Like To Throw Things: You might be justified this time.


*Of course, 2ndand1 does not condone any sort of violence. This example is just that - an example.

Ouch

At our annual departmental picnic tonight, someone brought a football and one of the guys from the floor below me (who played QB in high school) and I got to playing catch. I don't have a terrible arm myself, and I actually got a few decent grabs, but also got my left index finger jammed into a horrible position, and had to sit there with my hand in the soft drink cooler for the remainder of the evening.

And now it's puffy and hurts to type. Why did I play wide receiver when I have deadlines to meet? 

Just when you think it's over...

Yep. Honestly, I can't say I saw this coming, but it was reported today that Brett Favre, the league's favorite drama queen, has signed with the Minnesota Vikings for 12 million dollars this year. (ESPN) Wow. Odds are, all of Green Bay is now a lynch mob, Peter King fainted, the Jets turned the other way, and the rest of the NFC (yes, even us Bears fans) are now hoping he gets injured so under-practiced quarterbacks will make for easier victories. 

Myself? I was at work when a colleague broke the news to me, and my resulting shouting and gesticulating nearly caused me to drop a jug of nasty solvent that could have easily gassed everyone in the county. Apparently the Vikes made quite a show of it too, flying Favre and his wife to Minneapolis, where he donned his traditional #4 for practice to the cheers of loyal fans. So, I will editorialize. Honestly, I think this whole thing will damage Favre's reputation. The Vikings, of course, are so desperate to not choke away a fifth Superbowl, that I don't think Brad Childress cares much beyond this superficial level and whether or not the Metrodome is still standing. But consider this.

This guy has been compared to everything from gum on one's shoe to bronchitis (neither of which will just go away quietly). He has a revolving door on his retirement: he's in, he's out, he's in, he's out; this "drama queen factor" makes it difficult to take anything he does seriously, just like how most reasonable people don't believe that the characters on soap operas are real. He's gotten a lot of people scratching their chins, and a few more banging their heads into the wall. I think he pissed off at least half of New York (and probably all of New Jersey) by finishing 1-4. The Jets, pre-Favre, under Eric Mangini - were a bigger pile of toxic waste than Love Canal, and Favre gave them postseason hope. Following a series of injuries, the show promptly went from blockbuster to lackluster, with Favre tossing interceptions and ending with a passer rating of just under 60. 

On top of it, the entire state of Wisconsin hates him for what amounts to sports club divorce. I wonder if Favre has any respect for the Packers at all. To think, the heads of the organization could have paid him a boatload of cash to simply be their spokesperson for the next N years. He would've shook hands, signed autographs, and had his face plastered all over all sorts of memorabilia, but (to play the devil's advocate) what would he have done in the downtime? Played golf? Sat at home and watched the games on Sunday and wished he were still in the pocket? So why does he do it? He doesn't need the money. It's dopamine. As I mentioned earlier, this man is addicted to playing football, plain and simple, and re-acclimating to polite society, (you know, where you're not being chased by by a 22-year-old cornerback who wants nothing more than to plant you so deep in the turf that only your cleats stick up) is analogous with soldiers coming back from the war. He just wants to keep fighting.

Now, the Vikings. The Vikings are not a terrible team. They made the playoffs last year. They tore up the floundering Indianapolis Colts in Indy in their opening exhibition game. They drafted John David Booty (USC, he absolutely embarrassed UofMichigan in the Rose Bowl in 2007), who could help further offensive rebuilding. But no, they want to be part of the Favre legacy, and instead choose to trivialize Tarvaris Jackson and Gus Frerotte, and take away Booty's jersey number (he's now #9, which is probably an accurate description of where he'll be in the lineups from now on) so Favre could stay number 4. Disrespectful.

***

In other football news, Rex Grossman (formerly known as the Bears' Sex Cannon) has injured his hamstring in the exhibition game against the Chiefs [which I read as "goofing around with the Houston Texans" (670 score)] and will be out for 4-5 weeks. Man, with the way Grossman screwed up with the Bears, I'm not sure if the Texans should be worried or relieved. Oh wait. Their backup is Dan Orlovsky. This can only end in hilarity.

***

A couple days ago, I took one of those online "personality tests" when I was bored at work. I don't remember exactly what type I am (and maybe the details aren't important), but I'm proud to say that test tells me, in true 2ndand1 fashion, that Peyton Manning and I have the same personality type.

Remember kids: Safety is important. Otherwise you have no secondary.

Awesome!

As I have writer's block really, really bad, I'll postpone a full entry until later, but I hope everyone got to see the highlight reel from this past Sunday's exhibition game between the Titans and the Bills. The first touchdown of the 2009 NFL season was scored...on a trick play! Titans rookie AJ Trapasso (from Ohio State) - executes this totally brilliant trick play that rolls the Statue of Liberty and the Faux Punt into one genius maneuver. Watch how the Bills totally blow the coverage up front, and how a great block is thrown by Tennessee in open field to let Trapasso jog into the end zone. As both Leonardo DiCaprio and Kerry Collins might say, it's Titanic!