We are less than a month now before the pigskin starts flying again, so without further ado, let us kick off (heh heh, punny) with some news!
Obligatory Favre Watch: It comes to the relief of everyone except the sports paparazzi that Brett Favre is staying retired, (scoop from ESPN!) rather than signing to start with NFC central rival the Minnesota Vikings. In other news, it was reported that the collective sigh of the Packers' fan base blew over small buildings all the way to the Michigan border.
The brunt of Favre's decision seems to stem from injuries in his ankles and knees obtained while working out with Purple Jesus' teammates. Supposedly, various coaches and retired quarterbacks (Jim Kelly, from the Bills, among them), also urged Favre to quit while he was on top, instead of looking like a loon trying to play for every team in the league. Now, while this is fine advice on general principle, I wouldn't listen to anything that Jim Kelly says. Fun Fact: Did you know that Jim Kelly used to force himself to vomit before every game, because he believed it was good luck? This is sheer lunacy. I've heard of rabbit's feet and lucky octopi and sentiments written on under-eye paint, but after a while, I'd bet the GM was considering changing the team name to the Buffalo Bulimics after he found out. Gosh, I sure hope Brett Favre's "soul-searching" leading up to his retirement didn't involve copious amounts of chunder from down under!*
Michael Vick was released from prison this week, and it's rumored now that a variety of teams have expressed interest in the former puppy pugilist, most recently the Seattle Seahawks. I sincerely hope this is just Jim Mora being nice and that the whole thing isn't serious. Although maybe Seattle would be good for Vick. Instead of the down and dirty South, he gets to be emo about the team's positively abysmal 2008 season, and walk around wearing sandals and socks, surrounded by businessmen and enviro-hippies, until he too is carrying scones and a pound of Peet's coffee** and complaining about how all it does is rain.
In college news, SbB is reporting that Hawaii coach Greg McMackin made a mean homophobic comment while describing Notre Dame, and then tried to cover it up. Yeah, that worked well. Why do they put these people on the air? Also, this one may be henceforth binned under "delicious irony" in the fact that;
a) McMackin's team (as an astute poster on Fark.com was keen to point out) is still officially called the "Rainbow Warriors"-which sounds like a Gay Pride group if I ever heard of one;
b) It's football! If I described (for example, to a non-American who has never heard of the sport) a game where men, some of which are called "Tight Ends," ran around in tight spandex trying to get into each other's end zones...well...let's just say it's not polite fiction.
c) He did it to Notre Dame. That's just mean. ***
To come later, of course: Bears news. But for the readership: I hope you've all joined your fantasy leagues and bought your tickets. I am pumped. Are you pumped?!
* Other wacky pregame rituals and lucky charms can be found in this SI article. It's from 1988, and is so outdated that it probably had to be translated from cuneiform, but it's still rings true.
** Or whatever they drink out there. Is Peet's a CA thing only? Of course, no slur is meant against people from Seattle!
*** I also feel the need to note here that although I do like to make fun of people in ways that push the boundary of the PG-rating sometimes, that 2ndand1 NEVER condones or endorses homophobia. Or racism. Or sexism, or ageism, or xenophobia, or religious discrimination, bad fan behavior, techno music during games, or football teams being given ridiculous names. That is all.
