My annual Bears trip to Chicago was interesting, to say the very least.
Originally, my Lions fan better half had booked us two tickets into the city on an early train. We got up at some obscenely early time to get to the station, only to find out that the train would be arriving more than 90 minutes late because the engine had died somewhere near Indianapolis. So, after a brief arm-flailing freakout, we did as any two football nuts would do: we got in the car and plowed through the cornfields at Kamikaze speed (he drove 80+ MPH and I provided directions) and we arrived in Chicago a little after 9 AM CMT. We had a leisurely walk through Grant Park and arrived at Soldier Field, where the guards weren't admitting anyone until 10AM. D'oh.
Built in 1922 and renovated in 2003, Soldier Field currently boasts the smallest stadium capacity of the NFL at 61,500 people. Despite this, the place is very very big, and we had at least two hours of exploring prior to kickoff. Out on the turf, the Bears (and a few Lions) were practicing. We visited a few of the landmarks, including the Colonnades and the Bears Den, where the floor is painted to look like a football field and one can watch Brian Urlacher being interviewed on eighteen separate televisions. People were milling around in Bears gear, looking at display cases of vintage uniforms.
Colts kickoff-coverage fail, now captured in gigantic mural form.
Cornerback Charles "Peanut" Tillman works out 90 minutes before kickoff.
As always, I plunked down an arm/leg/first born for United Club seats, and this year's real estate - Section 313 - was prime lakefront property, with a complete, unobstructed view of the field.
The only problem with this property is that later in the game, the sun came out, it got hot, and my SO got so sunburnt that he could have played for the Redskins.
Here's another interesting fact. The Chicago Bears do not have cheerleaders (the management felt that it was "not an acceptable part of game-day experience") and haven't since the 1970s-80s when they fielded a squad called the "Honey Bears." Instead, they have a drumline - a bunch of guys who come out at the beginning of the game and at halftime and make as much noise as possible without actually being annoying.
I think it's some kind of Jungian psychology: We are going to beat these drums just like the team will beat the opponents.
I had my sunglasses and my drink. Someone from the Chicago Blackhawks sang the national anthem. At last it came to a head. The stands finally filled, the teams lined up, and Robbie Gould booted the rock into the clear September sky...
...And then the Bears' offense proceeded to look as schizophrenic as I've ever seen them. I've seen offenses score 40 points one week and 3 the next, but the stat line for this game was completely ridiculous. Here are some statistics:
-The Lions (as to be expected?) were powerless to do anything (save a few burps, the defense played quite well, including LB's Lance Briggs and Brian Urlacher, who made seventeen tackles between them) and the visitors were held to 168 yards on the day.
A relaxed Lions secondary stands around on the field. Accurately, this is an adequate description of what they did during the game as well.
-The Bears punted, not once, not twice, not thrice, not four times, but five times - while in Detroit territory. Who punts from their opponent's 38-yard line? I'd try a 60-yard field goal before I'd punt. I can't talk about this anymore. I'm going to have nightmares about this for at least six months.
-The Bears had 463 total yards of offense and gained 6.6 yards per offensive play...and only scored 19 points, due to the four turnovers and 100 yards of penalties. I was starting to wonder whether the Baltimore Ravens had put on Bears' jerseys or if it was some kind of cosmic joke.
-Before the half, the Bears scored 10 points in 90 seconds. It doesn't beat the record for furious scoring that I've seen (Purdue vs. Michigan in 2009, where the former scored 14 points in nine seconds with a surprise onside kick) - but it was awfully pretty. Was this Mike Martz's actual offense or just a complete meltdown by Detroit?
-Completely awesome play of the day: In the 4th quarter, Jay Cutler sent three receivers and a tight end streaking downfield and to the right to boggle the Lions' safeties. As a result, RB Matt Forte took off down the left sideline uncovered, save only a linebacker huffing and puffing away behind him - touchdown. They went on to whiff the 2-point conversion, but I must ask this. Was this Mike Martz's actual offense or just the stars aligning properly?
This wagon is covered: why wasn't Matt Forte? Source: Ancestry.com
-Completely disastrous play of the day: With 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter, Lions backup QB Shaun Hill was drilled by LB Lance Briggs, upon which he fumbled, giving the Bears the ball on approximately the 1-foot line. At this point in the game, the Bears were down by one point and absolutely needed to score. They needed to move the ball approximately 20 picometers to score. The result: No gain, incompletion, no gain, no gain. Jiminy Freakin' Christmas.
-Also: I'm thoroughly convinced that the Bears have Matthew Stafford's number. Twice, in person, I have seen Stafford get pounded out of the game by the D-line. Last year, DE Adewale Ogunleye bent Stafford's knee in a way that knees are not meant to bend, and this year, DE Julius Peppers apparently attempted to rip Stafford's arm out of the socket because his shoulder is now reportedly separated.
After the Forte touchdown, the Lions moved down the field, and with 31 seconds, Shaun Hill found Calvin Johnson in the corner of the end zone. One official signaled touchdown - one signaled incompletion, and the result was a positively torturous five-minute booth review. After the entire crowd's life-span had been shortened by approximately six years, the official ruled it an incompletion because Johnson waved the ball around as he fell and spun it out of his hands as he hit the turf. This is a violation of the process rule, which states that a receiver must maintain complete possession throughout the entire process of catching the ball, and which the NFL supposedly has been fiercely enforcing.
Now, I will take a "W" on the board any way I can get it. 19-14 is nice. I like seeing Jay Cutler kneeling out the last 30 seconds instead of sulking it up on the sidelines. The officials made the right call and the Bears deserved to win because of that. But I don't agree with the rule. Johnson clearly had the ball, and if we're going to make up goofy rules for what's required before someone has possession, I think we ought to make the rules as absurd as possible. Let's make the receiver walk on his hands from one end zone to the other - with the ball between his feet and while three cornerbacks chase him with a paintball gun - and then we'll call it full control.
Of course, had the Bears' defense actually done their job on the last drive, there wouldn't have been any debate about whether Johnson had possession of the football or not. I was starting to wonder whether the Buffalo Bills had put on Bear jerseys and come out for this last drive, or if it was some kind of heat-induced hallucination, because I nearly passed out near the end of that game.
This pot is covered. Why wasn't Calvin Johnson? Source: University of Cincinnati.
Anyway, it was a good trip, the Bears are currently undefeated, I've now got cool team flags for my car (or wherever else I may put them), and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My boyfriend, on the other hand, despite claiming he liked the whole experience (as it was his first NFL game) grumbled away incensed about the call, Stafford, and the sun. Now, if only I can convince him that watching a Lions game is essentially tantamount to organized masochism with beer ads...
To come later: Kollege Kickoff, Week 1 Wackiness, and the Worst Fantasy Weekend...ever.
