Truly Special Special Teams: In a wild card game, down by seven and facing 4th and 4 on the Big Striped Cats' 24-yard line, the New York Who Turned On The Jets lined up for a 42 yard field goal, which Jay Feely made easily. A holding penalty then nullified the attempt, moving Feely back ten yards. The J-men then decided to try the fire-drill anyway, but a false start promptly blew the play dead. The Jets then punted. D'oh! In other news, after the punt, Rex Ryan promptly ate the two penalized linemen on the sidelines.
That's a Penalty? In other Jets news, the Chargers lost, plagued by slop, error, and general bye-week-itis. The referees flagged the Dead Batteries for an offensive penalty, citing number 87 as the perpetrator. Said team did not have a number 87 playing that day, which the announcers were quick to point out. A technical non-penalty?
Amusing Announcing, Part 1: During the Cowboys wild-card blowout beatdown good sport with the Eagles, a particularly good play to Cowboys rookie wideout Miles Austin was described as "Austin-tatious." Also, one announcer asked another "What do you call the play where you run around the end to the quarterback?" before pausing and quipping "I call it a sack."
The Joke Writes Itself: Ravens-Patriots. I didn't see this game, but it can best be summarized by the following statement: "What do you call it when a team with no offense plays a team with no defense?" My buddy Eric, football fan and avid reader, stated the following answer rather dryly, "A nap."
Ridiculously Sick Play of the Week: In the Saints' roasting reaming routing friendly contest with the Arizona Cardinals, Drew Brees faked a handoff to RB Pierre Thomas, who tossed the ball back to Brees, who bombed deep to Devery Henderson for 44 yards and the score. (fansided) The sleepwalking Redbirds were reduced to a pile of feathers and bad feelings by halftime. It's official: the Scoring Machines, if properly fueled, are unstoppable. In other news: water is wet, and you shouldn't eat too much pizza or you'll clog your arteries.
Amusing Announcing, Part 2: In the Cowboys-Eagles game, a whopping 228 penalty yards were committed between the two teams - an NFL postseason record. After yet another yellow flag flew, Cris Collinsworth mused, "Ed Hochuli and crew will go shopping for whistles tomorrow."
Yes, this is a real product. Cowboys tickets: $150. The Cowboys umbrella: $35. Getting to see the Cowboys fold either way? Priceless. Source: Amazon.com
Who Doth Postpone the December Swoon? The Collapse-Boys are back! Up against the Vikings Front Four (who are probably better known as "The Purple People Eaters," or maybe "The Maul of America")* the Cowboys rolled over and died. The Land of 10,000 Sacks, well, sacked Tony Romo six times, on three of which he fumbled, and two of which he lost. Was Jessica Simpson up in the press box with Prince? (UPI)
Sad Note, for Us Bears Fans, Part 1: On this past Sunday, January 17th, Bears DE Gaines Adams #99 passed away in his native state of South Carolina. A former star at Clemson and for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (where he was the #4 draft pick in 2007), Adams reportedly died from cardiac arrest due to an enlarged heart. Drugs and/or foul play are not suspected. He was 26 years old, and was traded to the Bears early in the 2009 season, where he played in 10 games, including against the Lions. More can be read in the Chicago Tribune.
Normally I don't think emoticons and symbols are proper for a blog journalistic endeavor such as this, but Second and One leaves a flower - Be at Peace, Gaines - Chicago hardly ever knew you. ~'~,~'~<@
Sad Note, for Us Bears Fans, Part 2: To add to the defensive line problems, Bears nose tackle/defensive tackle Dusty Dvoracek, who has had more injuries than a child playing in traffic, was recently arrested and charged with a variety of unpleasant things, including battery, after a fight in Oklahoma (The Tribbie) No, Dusty! You're doing it wrong! You're supposed to assault people ON the field, not off it!
Amusing Announcing, Part 3: In the wild-card Showdown at OK Corral between the Green Bay Packers and the Arizona (Later) Folded Like a House of Cards, an announcer remarked (as both teams took the field for overtime), "Good thing we're not playing by college rules, or this night might never end."
This is all for now. Remember kids: Confucius says Bears who lose because of interception-happy QB are said to have been "deep sixed."
*Other terms I've heard to refer to these four gentlemen: Purple Pain, Purple Reign, Third and Ouch, the Four Norseman of the Apocalypse, Shock and AWWE (for Allen, Williams, Williams, and Edwards)
