Preseason Extra Points

So after blowing one to the Cardinals at home, the Bears fall to 0-3 in the preseason. I've given up on trying to figure out what's wrong with the Bears (besides everything; see below), so in the mean time, here are some morsels from week 3 of the preseason. 

Truly Special Special Teams: On Saturday night, at home, against the Cardinals, the Bears tried to answer the Cardinals' seven points with three, and the field goal was promptly blocked. On their next trip to the red zone, Gould went out to kick again from 48 yards, doinked the left upright, and missed. This preseason, the Bears have also had two blocked punts, one for a safety, and a muffed catch that ended in a recovery touchdown by the Raiders. We urge you to contact police if you have seen the Bears' special teams. 

Interesting Bonus Statistic: 33 of the 44 past Super Bowl champions have won at least two of their preseason outings. A notable exception to the rule is Detroit, who has won nine of their past eleven preliminaries, ironically going 4-0 before they went 0-16. 

But...but...We're the preseason champions! Yeah! Whoohoo! Source: ESPN SportsCenter.

Absolutely Sick Defensive Play Penalty: On 3rd-and-8 from their own 20 yard line while up by three against Detroit, Panthers Browns QB Jake Delhomme dropped back to pass and the Lions brought pressure. First-round pick DE Ndamukong Suh (overcome by a fit of blood-lust, apparently) grabbed Delhomme's facemask and violently tossed Delhomme to the turf - by his head (anyone who is so inclined may watch it here, but be warned: it's one of the dirtiest and most violent plays I've seen in a while). (NFL) Whoah, Mr. Suh! We realize that the Lions need to rebuild their defense, but receiving a fine from the league for attempting to decapitate your opponents is not the way to do it!

Another Interesting Bonus Statistic: Both teams to play in the 2006 Super Bowl are 0-3. While the Colts lack depth on defense, the Bears' first-and-second-team offenses are equally bad (scoring 17 and 19 points thus far, respectively). What's happening with the Bears: It's kind of like an inventor that designs some widget and plugs it in, only to have the thing blow up spectacularly. So he goes back to his garage, tinkers with it, and plugs it in the following week, with the same utterly disastrous result. Just watch. Both teams will now go 14-2. 

The Bears and Colts in the 2010 Preseason. Source: everywhere on the Internet.

Cue the Looney Tunes Music: Oh, Cowboys. How we bloggers love you for your comedic value. In a true Texas blowout, QB Tony Romo was sacked twice, fumbled, and committed the following incredibly amusing gaffe, where he intended to flip the ball to Felix Jones, who didn't hear him because Romo apparently changed the play at the last moment (NFL). D'oh! "We just didn't play good" said TE Jason Witten, who was apparently too exhausted to realize he was grammatically incorrect.

Yet Another Interesting Bonus Statistic: During the preseason thus far, the Indianapolis Colts have surrendered 130 points to opponents and committed 12 turnovers. The New Orleans Saints have scored 98 points and committed three turnovers. Wouldn't it have been fun to have these two teams play each other this preseason?

Amusing Announcing: During the opening announcement of the Cardinals starting lineups, a Bears Radio Network announcer referred to Cards guard Deuce Lutui (who is currently suspended for reporting to training camp overweight) as "Douche Lutui." While this one is no doubt a slip-of-the-tongue, why do I get the feeling that Lutui's teammates have probably been doing this for years behind his back?

Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: My fantasy draft is next Friday at 10PM, and the Fighting Nucleophiles (Official Fantasy Team of Second and One) are coming back for a third consecutive season (hopefully without the busted knee ligaments, musical third wideout position, and famously wonky tight ends). I've been crunching statistics, reading injury reports and making my lists carefully (which are now in a super-secret MS word document with an equally super-secret title of "MC'S 2010 FANTASY DRAFT.") Tune in this time next week to see who'll be feeling nucleophilic this season.

That's all for now, folks. College ball starts next week. Man, I'd better get on that. Also to come soon: the second installment of the Second and One Reader Challenge, now with more nudity!