I am just tired. So tonight's episode is a lite version. But like light beer or light butter, it still tastes pretty good if enough is applied or consumed!
Another One Bites the Dust, NFL Edition: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were shipwrecked at 0-7 coming into Sunday's contest against the Green Bay Packers. Imploding in 2008. The loss of Gruden to ESPN. A rookie coach. No defense whatsoever. More personnel turnover than the Italian government. Wearing their throwback orange jerseys with the logo from 1979, the Buccaneers actually scored 38 points...to the Pack's 28. 21-year-old rookie QB Josh Freeman, the youngest QB to ever start for the Bucs, had only 205 yards but threw for three TDs, including one on a 4th down conversion that sealed the deal. One of the questions everyone seems to be asking is "how much did home field advantage/matchup psychology matter?" Fun Fact: the Packers have lost seven of their last 8 in Tampa, and Green Bay has dropped its past three games with the Bucs regardless of whether they play in Tampa, at Lambeau, or in Australia.
Yo, ho, ho, ho, a pirate's life for me! The Tampa Bay Creamsicles sent the Packers packing. Source: Getty Images, NY Daily.
Dumb, Daft Defenses, 1: I'm still too frustrated to write about the Bears/Cards disaster. The Arizona Cardinals, lead by Kurt Warner, were out for blood after an abysmal performance against the Big Black Cats in week 8. They got it against the witless Bears, whose defense simply did not show up to play for the second time this season. The Bears, by virtue of losing by 20, were the ultimate in stupid defense on Sunday. Perhaps the stupidest Bear defender, however, was defensive tackle Tommie Harris, who was ejected 54 seconds into the game for decking Cardinals guard Deuce Lutui in the face so hard that Lutui's entire face swelled up. (NFL.com) What an extremely stupid and undisciplined thing to do, especially when it's known that when Harris doesn't do his part on the D-line that the soup hits the fan for the Bears: Harris was injured when the Bears were routed by Cincinnati, 45-10. The only thing I can think of was that Coach Smith told Harris to get out there and play smash mouth football, and Harris took it literally. Shameful.
Dumb, Daft Defenses, 2: Although the Cardinals won handily, they did make one extremely derailing defensive decision themselves. Tight end Greg Olsen is one of Jay Cutler's favorite targets, especially in short-yardage situations, and is still one of the league's most dangerous TEs in the red zone. Until last Sunday, many opposing teams had this notion figured out, leaving half of Chicago wondering if Olsen was a bust and the other half believing there was a massive defensive conspiracy against him. (Chicago Tribune) The Cards could have easily shut out the Bears, their weak secondary, and their stop-and-go offense, but instead opted to place their savvy cornerbacks in man coverage against Chicago's wideouts (Hester, Knox, Bennett), leaving, slower, less-effective safeties to practically run into each other chasing after Olsen all game.* Result: Three Bears touchdowns, all to #82, who was a good two yards off the defender every time! Everyone and their dog knew that this is where the ball was going; why didn't Clancy Pendergast? It's a moot point now, but it is safe to say that had the defense showed up, this game could have been very different.
Confucius says: "three touchdowns to the Bears tight end puts 'greg' in 'egregious.'" Source: Nuccio DiNuzzo, Chicago Tribune.
My buddy Tom, however, found himself in a more dire fantasy predicament. Up against his pal Newman, on Newman's birthday, his team struggled for dominance in a nail biter that ended up coming down to Hines Ward vs. Rashard Mendenhall. Ward prevailed at the last moment, and Tom won. For kicks, Tom and I actually made a bet over our ridiculous fantasy week. Tom and I make all sorts of football bets, which usually end in one of us losing five bucks or having to buy the other dinner. This one, however, was outrageous: if he lost, he would have come to my house and stage a literal song-and-dance number for my entertainment. On the other hand, if the Fighting Nucleophiles blew it because of the Steelers' D (which would be nothing short of a freak accident), I would have had to post some comments** in this blog that would firmly violate my PG rating. Thank goodness we both won!
Remember kids: Continuing our pseudo-Confucian allegory: does a clever play to Dallas' tight end constitute a "witticism?"
*Yes. I literally watched the replays about fifty times.
**No. I won't post them. I'll just say that said comments made me really glad that Kyle Orton was able to give Pittsburgh's secondary a hard time all night, despite losing the game.
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