Sunday, November 15, 2009

An Open Letter to The Chicago Bears Organization

There will be no picks this week - Second and One deserves a bye week too and saw enough picks on Thursday night. Kollege Kickoff and news will continue as usual. But first, I felt the need to write this.

***

To the Chicago Bears Organization:

You guys are killing me this season. 

I mean, you're absolutely, unconscionably killing me. During the past five games, four of which have been atrocious, heartbreaking defeats, I sat, in my loyalty, wearing my Devin Hester jersey and color-matching everything down to my shoes. And as these games progressed, I became surrounded by all forms of coronary-clogging junk food, grievously and painfully wide-eyed over what my beloved Monsters of the Midway have become. A disaster.

First, I would like to know who is calling your plays these days. Mickey Mouse? Bozo the Clown? What made you think that, against the San Francisco 49ers, the 4th-ranked rush defense in the whole National Football League,  you could run poor Matt Forte into the line, again and again, without even learning how to block properly for him? Excluding the outliers, Forte had 1.3 yards per rushing attempt. If I drive my car repeatedly into a cinderblock wall, sure, I might eventually drive through it - but at great cost to everyone involved. You are going to hurt this kid. What ever happened to running outside? What ever happened to end-arounds and reverses? Heck, if you're going to be so conservative, what ever happened to the two tight-end set, for that matter? Watch some Colts tapes! Watch some Steelers tapes! Watch some Saints tapes! When are you guys going to chuck this playbook out the window and grow some sophistication? 

Why are you still holding onto this traditionalism that results in choking in the clutch? Why, in heaven and earth, after an entire, 80+ yard drive sustained to its end by Jay Cutler and Greg Olsen, did you take the latter - whom even aliens on Uranus could tell you is your best red zone target - out of the huddle, and substitute in third-stringer Kellen Davis, who had absolutely zero chemistry with Cutler when he ran into a sea of niners in the red zone? And later in the game, after a similarly boneheaded play, when Olsen went ballistic on the sidelines, why didn't you find out exactly what the outburst was about?

Second, this debacle is not entirely Jay Cutler's fault, and the Chicago Press and your higher-ups should be absolutely ashamed of themselves in piling the blame on him. Before everyone jumps on the bandwagon in crying for your quarterback's blood, remember that you are putting him in the situation to screw up like this. You have put him amidst a milquetoast receiving corps and an aging, ineffectual offensive line, and expected him to play Messiah. Jesus needs Apostles, people! Against Cleveland, arguably one of the worst defenses in the entire league, he was sacked four - count 'em - four times, and this is inexcusable. And if your line can't block, also remember this: forcing your quarterback to run backwards ten yards (just to avoid being creamed) and then pass forward for five still results in going backwards and leaves untold room for error. 

So let's talk about error. I will invoke my unified field theory of life: @$#% happens! Quarterbacks, especially younger quarterbacks, are human, like everyone else, and screw up. At least two of Thursday's interceptions weren't even Jay's fault. Receivers trip and fall down. Receivers have to alter their routes slightly to avoid running into the umpire. Receivers are unfairly interfered with and sometimes flags don't get called. And people have bad games. Eli Manning threw three interceptions against Arizona. Drew Brees, the MVP of the NFC, threw three against Miami and fumbled in the same game. Heck, while we're talking about the Cardinals, Kurt Warner threw five picks against the Panthers, and while we're talking about the Panthers, absolutely nobody knew why Jake Delhomme still had a job after the playoffs and the first third of the season. But no! you cry, He's a careless young gun who throws lots of INTs! I am thinking now of another "careless young gun" who lead the league in INTs - and is now going down in history as one of the greatest QBs to ever play the position. That's right. Brett Favre. Sure, putting the two in the same category is unfair comparison. But with time, and a coach who understands the psychology and basic field requirements necessary for good quarterbacking, we could have quite the turnaround.

Third: That's right. Coaching. I think Lovie Smith is a nice guy. I really do. But I think he's no longer right for this position. He's 20-21 since the Superbowl. The "love your players" approach is cute, but it's just not what you guys need. The lack of good coaching comes across strongly in two categories. First, you guys are sorely lacking in intensity on both sides of the ball. There are teams in the league that are permanently stuck in Two-Minute-Drill Mode (see details at "Carson Palmer et al."). There are teams in the league that play with an emotional fervor that borders on certifiable insanity (eg. New Orleans). And here you are, with conservative play calling, poor clock management, and a defense that is confused more oft than not. The intensity required for football is raw and primal; this is war. This is a brutal, zealous, male-initiation ritual that separates victor from subjugated loser! If you are on offense, you get out there and bury your opponent so deep that they never recover. If you're ahead by 14, play like you want to be ahead by 28. If you are on defense, your job is to make the opponent completely miserable. And there you have, in plays were Larry Fitzgerald and Chad Ochocinco are making beelines for your goal-line, at least one gentleman standing around doing nothing. 

This lack of coaching also comes across as lack of discipline. No team should have more than ten penalties per game. No team should have two delay of game flags when trying to score! No team should have a player ejected - Ever. Your front seven is a veritable false-start party, and your special teams garner more flags than the United Nations! A good coach gathers his players before a game and says "Guys, if you foul this up - figuratively and literally - there will be damnation to pay. Now settle down, breathe deeply, and get out there and do what you are paid millions of dollars to do - win. You are the Chicago Bears, darn it - start acting like them!" Either get some coaches who can enforce discipline, or get some more disciplined players.

Fourth: With this train-wreck in full effect, I can't help but wonder about your upper management after years of financial blundering, poor drafting, and outright stupidity. Are Jerry Angelo and Virginia McCaskey even Bears fans? Comfortable in their press-boxes and high society, do they have any clue whatsoever what it means to be a real Bears fan? I will tell you all what this is about. Chicago Bears: you are my team. You are my family's team and my father's team. I grew up watching him screaming at his television and couldn't figure out what it was about until I was a teenager. I then began to scream with him. I have made the pilgrimages to Soldier Field. I have gone to the bars and diners full of hopeful fans. I gone to watch you in both your finest fall form and your sloppiest December doldrums. I've cheered my heart out. I've cried my eyes out. Has your management ever worn team paraphernalia to serious meetings at work, prompting their bosses to ask "what, no eye black?" Has your management ever not slept after a yet another crushing loss? And I could do it another way. I could put on all the Packers gear in the universe and pretend to be a Cheesehead, but at the end of the day, I would be back in my head, in my friend's house, in February of 2007, watching Devin Hester run back the opening kickoff of the Superbowl - and it wouldn't feel right. Pride and Joy of Illinois? What is this?! Think about what you've done to your team. Think about what you've done to your fans!

In dire times such as this, we can do naught but reminisce. Source: Sports Illustrated, CNN.

And Bears fans do two things when times are lousy. We either say "well, it could be worse, we could be the [insert name of team with positively abysmal record here]." And you're going to let us settle for this kind of mediocre, destructive, uninspiring sport that makes us think this way? Alternatively, we think, "well, we won in 1986" and start dropping names like Bear wideouts drop passes: Butkus, Ditka, Payton, McMahon, the Fridge, Da '85 Defense. This doesn't matter! Only delusional people see clouds in silver linings, and only fools cling to the past. It is 2009.

But how about the young Bears fans? How about these kids in their late teens and 20s, the sons and daughters of those who watched the triumph of '86? When the Bears won Super Bowl XX, they did not exist. They were not alive to see this greatness everyone talked about, and these memories are meaningless. They have never known the feeling of waking up on a day when everything in their lives is going wrong, but could still say "Good heavens, at least the Bears are great!" if nothing else!

Sure, there's a lot of football left, and if you stage a fierce December comeback, I will respectfully eat my words and wash them down with half of Lake Michigan. But you're heading into a tough schedule. Eagles. Vikings. Packers. It's not looking good. Turn things around. Overhaul your playbook. Change some personnel. Mix things up. Find some leadership. It will be ugly. It will be hard. There will be blowouts. There will be barn-burners. There will be outrage. But you can do it. Remind us of that greatness. Remind us why it is, despite the heartbreak and the frustrations, that we still love the Chicago Bears.

And as always, Bear Down!!

Signed,

MC
Founder and Blogger
Second and One
November 15th, 2009

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