I'm Officially Too Silly To Be Serious About Football

So, to quote West Side Story, "it all begins tonight." Interestingly (depressingly?) all I can think about are disconnects in my fantasy matchup: Is it worth starting a pass-wacky team's defense (the Saints) when they're playing another pass-wacky team (the Vikings?), do I go with Laurent Robinson, who might not get a catch, over Donald Driver, who might not get a catch, and how bad really is Beanie Wells' knee injury, blah blah blah...

Also: I find it really funny that Bruce Springsteen's "Cover Me" came on my playlist. While I was writing about defenses. What the heck is this, Nnamdi Asomugha's theme song? I then decided that we need theme songs for other NFL players, and this is the list that resulted from me giggling while I went through my playlist:

Adrian Peterson: "Runnin'" by The Pharcyde

Ndamukong Suh: "Crush" by the Dave Matthews Band (I couldn't find a good song about decapitation).

Darelle Revis: "Cry Me A River" by Julie London 

Jay Cutler: "Daydreaming" by Lupe Fiasco (because that's apparently what he was doing all of last season.)

Jared Allen: "Friendly Pressure" by Maysa

Ray Lewis: "Bad" by Michael Jackson (too easy, next.)

The Detroit Lions: "Send In The Clowns" (Any cover.)

Steven Jackson: "Man In The Box" by Alice in Chains ("Out of the box" would be more appropriate.)

Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens: "We Belong Together" by Gavin DeGraw.

Flozell Adams: "Motion in a Minute" by Yoko Kanno (Every penalty from last season, I swear. Plus, it's a lovely piano piece!)

Dez Bryant: "New Kid In School" by The Donnas

Derek Anderson: "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park (one step closer to realizing that the Cardinals probably aren't all they're cracked up to be.)

Josh Freeman: "When You Were Young" by The Killers (when I was young, the Buccaneers weren't so darned awful.)

Tom Brady: "Pretty Piece of Flesh" by One Inch Punch (self-explanatory.)

Drew Brees: "Talk Show Host" by Radiohead (what he did in the off-season.)

The Kansas City Chiefs: "Toxic" by Britney Spears (So bad that they're...)

The Entire City of Cleveland: "Unbreak my Heart" by Tony Braxton (Years of Browns idiocy on top of the LeBron James debacle? Ouch.)

Judge my taste in music how you will, but how can you say they don't belong together? Source: Fanhouse, Getty Images

Also, also: I'll be in Chicago this coming weekend for the Bears' inaugural game vs. Detroit, which I will cover as well. More news to come when I get to it - things are busy. 

Happy Kickoff!