The Bronze Medal...

I can't believe it. We actually DO have a third-place winner for the Second and One Annual Pre-Bowl Train-Wreck Award. This award, given in mid-to-late December to the college football program that engages in the most unscrupulous activities prior to a bowl appearance, has already occupied its first and second place spots. The third-place spot goes to...

The Ohio State University Buckeyes!

Five Ohio State football players, although not suspended for the upcoming Sugar Bowl, are required to sit out the first five games in 2011 for selling their Big 10 championship rings, jerseys, awards, and miscellaneous tOSU memorabilia, along with accepting "improper benefits". The strangest part of the latter allegations? That the five players, including star QB Terrelle Pryor and four others, traded such goods (and who knows what else) for tattoos at a local tattoo parlor. (ESPN) Pryor insists that he paid for his tattoo(s) fair and square. Fans aren't entirely sure they believe him after it was revealed that even he sold special trinkets given to players as part of a ritual following a defeat of archival Michigan (no doubt twisting the knickers of a few sanctimonious Buckeye purists). As punishment, Pryor et al. are required to pay to charity a sum of money equivalent to that which they received for selling their items.

Join Ohio State's Touchdowns for Tattoos Program!

We give these guys third place because, fundamentally, selling your championship ring isn't really all that bad when compared to the druggies and sex offenders in the first two spots. 

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There is a great article at Sports Illustrated today about the 32 worst (ie, saddest, gut-punchiest, heart-attackiest) game endings in the history of sports. Everything is covered from boxing to horse-racing. Last Sunday's "Miracle at the New Meadowlands" - in which the Giants blew a 21-point lead at home in seven minutes, failed to anticipate an onside kick, allowed an electrifying kickoff return for the winning touchdown, possibly knocked themselves out of the division title, and then blamed the whole sour mess on the punter - made #8. 

Time for some December Capitalism! Giants tickets? $150. Giants golf balls? $9.95. Getting to see the Giants whacked hard either way? Priceless. 

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A couple of weeks ago, I went to a tacky Christmas sweater party. My friend John showed up dressed as Santa to distribute candy and small gifts to everyone - it's kind of tradition in my department, where everyone sits in his lap and tells him what they want for Christmas. I told him all I wanted was for the Bears to make the playoffs. And now, if the real Santa may read this in the next 12 hours or so - can we send Da Bears to the Big One?

Merry Christmas everyone.