They beat each other, beat themselves
The Big Ten (Eleven? Is it twelve?)
Sorting out their situation
Needs poetic ministrations
Minnesota gets no liking
Playing lousy like the Vikings
The Gophers showed no rhyme or reason
And Brewster got the boot midseason
The Illini started in a rut
But halfway through, they just went nuts
The BCS now has a glitch
Buckeyes, Hawkeyes, which one's which?
Purdue embodies monstrous fail
By choking on an epic scale
Injuries have stopped them cold
Just like the Colts in black and gold
They could have made a bowl run, too!
But blew their lead to MSU
With one loss only - there to stay
Is Sparty going all the way?
IU just could not remember
That football started in September
Or August, but that doesn't matter
Crimson, creamed; they're stomped and scattered
The Wolverines are made to thrill
They score enough to claim some kills
Yet if out-gunned, it all turns hairy
What happened to their secondary?
Northwestern, Penn State, both together
Futile, fickle, like the weather
One worries about Wrigley's fences
The other, 'bout their coach's senses
Wisconsin only has one mission
Humiliate the whole division
A bowl berth they will surely clinch
By scoring eighty on Bill Lynch
Blowouts, beatdowns, might, and moxie,
A carousel of loss-by-proxy
Though all these teams will get served lunch
Soon as Nebraska joins this bunch!
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