But first, I figured I'd end with the bit about March Madness. If I were to start something I didn't finish, I'd be a pretty impolite person.* So Villanova Syndrome eventually grew terminal and got Villanova, UConn dropped like a rock, and for the Spartan fans out there, the championship game was positively cringe-worthy to watch. But really, for everyone else, the game just wasn't very interesting. Despite this fact, everyone is still talking about it. I was playing poker last night, and people were still commenting on why UNC wasn't fouled more.
I tied for 4th in my bracket pool, which was surprising, considering I was in first for a few days and then screwed up everything after the Elite Eight by picking Pitt to win the whole enchilada. I think when I did this I was tired, or distracted by a shiny piece of foil, or just flipping coins to try and call some of the more stochastically-determined matches, and it got me in the end, but hey; I was one of the only people to call Ohio State losing to Siena in the first round, so I got my two cents in.
***
I was playing Madden XX a couple nights ago at a friend's, teamed up with someone as, of course, the Bears, playing someone else as the Raiders. Surprisingly, a computer program did a darn good job of predicting the way I've actually seen these two teams match up:
a) Play-action fail (the commentators in the game would say "Wow, they just failed to connect on that one!");
b) Turnovers on top of turnovers, on top of turnovers, on top of Oh, Must I Continue To Watch This?
c) Being unable to move the ball over 100 yards until the end of the 4th quarter.
Of course, JaMarcus Russell is better in the game than he is in real life, even with a quarterback rating of 30, and it's very hard to simulate the Bears' offensive strategy, that consists of a) running Matt Forte into the line repeatedly, and b) hurling the ball downfield and hoping for a pass interference call, but hey, it's all a classical approximation, not unlike how problems in Physics Class are a classical approximation of how stuff behaves in real life, but without pesky things like air resistance or friction!
***
Interesting trades/news of note:
-Jay Cutler is now a Bear. Overall, I'm pretty positive about this but won't editorialize now. I didn't know this until a couple of months ago, but Cutler is actually diabetic. Does he need sugar-free Gatorade? Also, I heard a rumor about the Manning Brothers stealing his blood glucose-meter at the Pro Bowl, as a prank, or something like this. Does anyone know if this is true, or something that got made up over at the likes of KSK? (warning, link is really not safe for work or little readers!)
-Giants released uber-gun-happy WR Plaxico Burress. Yup. We understand everyone from Michigan State is unpleasant during basketball season. But it's probably better for the Giants not to have him on the roster, even if that means Eli has nobody to overthrow next season.
-Byron Leftwich leaves the Steelers and signs a 2-year contract with the Buccaneers. Finally, someone will know who the QB for TB actually is! (For the past two years, when asked this question, I've had to go "Simms! No! Garcia! No! Griese! No! Mickey Mouse!" in situations where I've felt comfortable, and simply "erm, I don't know" in situations where I haven't felt as comfortable.)
-The Cleveland Browns are apparently enamored with Mark Sanchez, who comes from USC's long line of quarterbacks whose resumes tout "Running up the score on a grossly undermatched Big 10 opponent in the Rose Bowl" as a chief selling point. Of course, this begs the question of what to do with Derek Anderson. Here are my three ideas:
a) Sit him in the press booth and try and make him the color commentator.
b) Keep him as backup... to the water-boy.
c) Offload him onto the Lions. Nobody knows who their quarterback is, either!
Got any suggestions? Comment at will!
Remember kids, if you think nickel and dime are just units of currency, you shouldn't be a defensive coordinator!
*Or my name would be Nick Saban. Take your pick.
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