And now, Upsets!
Another One Bites the Dust: Yesterday, #4 (Mississippi) was knocked off by South Carolina; Iowa beat Penn State (#5) by 11 points, and Cal (#6) was positively vaporized by Oregon, 42-3. Additionally, FSU (#18) lost to the University of Southern Florida (whoever the heck they are); and #24 (Washington) was buried by Stanford.
There were also some amazingly close shaves: Clemson came within four of TCU (15), as did Mississippi State and LSU (7), and Houston (17) eeked out a win by a single point. In other news, it's reported that the country's top computer scientists and programmers are now working around the clock to rebuild the BCS computer after it crashed and subsequently exploded last night.
This is Why You Go For It: The demoralized Michigan State Spartans, buried under a pile of points by Brett Bielema's Wisconsin boys in the 3rd quarter, opted, on 4th and 7 on the UW 10 to kick a field goal. Um...why did you do that? You're 1-2, psychologically messed up, on the road, down by two scores, being smeared by a team that calls themselves the Badgers, for God's sake, and you're knocking on the end zone's door? Show some Spartan fortitude and punch that sucker in! Instead, they kicked, and now are 1-3.
Also, did anyone see the video of Mark Dantonio sulking on the sidelines in the final seconds of the game? He had a scowl that probably could've made a linebacker cry.
This is Why You Don't Go For It: The Florida State Seminoles, greedy to be the first to put seven on the board, found themselves 4th and goal on the USF 2. Ty Jones then rushed for one yard, but couldn't get it in, resulting in turnover on downs. USF then took the ball, from their own one-yard line, drove it downfield in two minutes - complete with a deep 77-yard pass from QB BJ Daniels - and scored. FSU, why didn't you kick for three? USF then went on to score again, while FSU finished the half with a goose-egg on the board. Mind you: they laid this one themselves.
I found myself wondering what on earth was going on with this game: FSU's pretty good. Nobody knows there's even a university in South Florida. It was almost like these two teams had switched places. And then I realized it: USF is FSU backwards! A palindromic matchup! Coincidence...or MURDER?*
"Aha! You stole our name and our spirit! You're going down!" Source: AP, Phil Coale.
Also, Special Ridiculous Bonus Statistic: USF missed two field goals. And still won the game.
Another Special Ridiculous Bonus Statistic: In the heavily-anticipated Purdue/Notre Dame skirmish, Purdue had 78 yards rushing, and 103 yards of penalties, including "taunting." The official NCAA Rulebook defines this as an "unsportsmanlike conduct" foul. Also under their heading of "unsportsmanlike conduct:" simulating the firing of a weapon or slashing of the throat, beating or crossing one's chest over a prone player, altering one's stride whilst scoring unopposed, bowing at the waist, going into the stands to interact with spectators, removing one's helmet, showboating (which they refer to as "delayed, excessive, prolonged, or choreographed acts by which a player (or player) attempts to focus attention upon himself (or themselves)", spiking the ball beyond conserving clock, and tossing the ball into the air (or anywhere where the official must go find it). Holy cats, Batman! 2ndand1 also surmises Purdue was penalized for having no secondary on the field, looking at the cheerleaders, standing one Angstrom** in the neutral zone, and breathing too loudly!
An Aesthetic Thought: At the game last night, I couldn't help but notice that the flag girls were carrying the ugliest flags I have ever seen. A big green, yellow and purple lightning bolt? Erm...precisely what this design had to do with the team, whose mascot is nowhere near a lightning bolt, and whose colors are nowhere near green, yellow, and purple, I have no idea. It looked like a bad Roller Derby show, or worse yet, like the San Diego Chargers had a garage sale in which they unloaded all of their campy 1970s memorabilia.
***
And now switching to the pros, some prognostication!
Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati: The Steelers, despite not being able to kick a ball straight and losing a heartbreaker to the Bears, have a sophisticated offense and talented receivers. However, the Bengals are coming in hot after upsetting the Packers at home - complete with Chad Ochocinco's Lambeau Leap. (youtube, via blacksportsonline. Warning: Rude gestures in the background.) Who knows. I'm taking Pittsburgh, but by less than one might think.
Cleveland @ Baltimore: the Browns are a mess. Team chemistry is suffering as cacaphony erupts in the locker room and Mangini irritates the team into filing grievances.(ESPN) Currently without two offensive linemen and Jamal Lewis, whom my friend Judy describes as "the only one who can score," they come up against Baltimore, who eeked out the high-voltage Chargers last week and continue to put up solid defense. Additionally, the Browns have not scored an offensive touchdown since...uh...since...Good heavens, I can't remember. Baltimore by at least 10.
Washington @ Detroit: Neither team seems to be able to get it started offensively. Detroit rookie QB Matt Stafford has thrown one touchdown and five picks; whereas Washington has scored one offensive touchdown all season (and one by their punter.) Second and One predicts a 0-0 tie, ending in the final overtime with Washington missing a field goal.
Chicago @ Seattle: Matt Hasselbeck is not expected to even dress for the game today. While backup Seneca Wallace is fairly athletic, nobody knows what TJ Houshmandzadeh is actually doing for the Seahawks yet. The Bears are wound up on adrenaline after besting the Steelers last week, proving that their defense is still cohesive without MLB Brian Urlacher. On the other hand, the Seahawks prove to be one of the stingiest pass defenses in the league, having not allowed a passing touchdown this season. Thenagain, they've played St. Louis and San Francisco. The Bears' receiver core, consisting thus far of Earl Bennett, Devin Hester, and rookie Johnny Knox, is beginning to gel, however, and could be the team to break this streak, possibly using RB Matt Forte as both running back and option guy. I'll pick the Bears.
New Orleans @ Buffalo: The Buffalo Bills are ranked 31st in pass defense this season so far. Drew Brees is flying so hot that he'll burn up if he ever re-enters the atmosphere. This is all we need to know. Too easy. Next.
Obligatory Fighting Nucleophiles Update: The Fighting Nucleophiles, official Fantasy Team of 2ndand1, got annihilated last week. Quick: Do I start Boss or Celek at tight end?
As it seems I'm out of time now, analysis to come later.
*Looking at the way FSU was manhandled, I'd say the latter...
**Another Mini Soliloquy O' Science: One Angstrom (A) is defined as one ten-billionth of a meter. For comparative purposes, most bonds between atoms are between one and two Angstroms.
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