Giants WR Taye Biddle (read as "the guy that's not Plaxico Burress") went outside of his house in Alabama and was promptly shot in the hand. Is it just me, or does the position of WR seem to be cursed for the Giants? First Steve Smith gets stuck up and mugged, then Plax slides to new levels of jackassery, and now Biddle? If someone offered me the chance to play WR for the G-men, I would immediately ask if a flak jacket is part of the contract.
***
In other news, the Big One is upon us once again, which means one thing: odd fan behavior! The Super Bowl, being, fundamentally, a celebration of football, brings out the nuttiest of the nutballs. Lately, this seems to be manifesting itself in the form of amusing song parodies. There seem to be a lot of good ones posted over at Kissing Suzy Kolber. (Be warned: language and content on said page are not safe for work or littl'uns!) By far, the best of the Steelers parodies I've seen comes from an a capella group in Pittsburgh, who ceremoniously reworked Toreador from Bizet's Carmen to be about...well...you just have to see it.
As for the Cardinals, I haven't seen any amusing parodies from their end yet. Although I was singing The Humans are Dead* by Flight of the Conchords in the shower yesterday, and believe it could be easily adapted to describe the NFC Championship Game:
The Eagles are dead.
The Eagles are dead;
We threw freaky deep passes
And we covered their asses
The Eagles are dead.
(McNabb, he is dead)
The Eagles are dead.
(And Westbrook is dead)
We did it so we
(Buckhalter is dead)
Could go to forty-three...
(And Reid. Had a heart attack. He's dead)
(And then there's a whole bunch of stuff that just doesn't rhyme well...)
I said the Eagles are dead!
(Akers is dead)
The Eagles are dead (And Celek is dead!)
We used freaky deep passes (to Larry the most!)
And we covered their asses (their offense was toast)
I'll stop here for fear of embarrassing myself more than I've already done.
*The Humans Are Dead, by Flight of the Conchords
The kid knows about football! So does George! "In football, the object is for the quarterback, sometimes called the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which may consist of power plays designed to punch holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line."
ReplyDeleteVery clever, but from George Carlin, I would have expected instead some kind of anthropological diatribe about how football is nothing more than a giant homoerotic allegory. Preferably one using any of the following phrases in a creative fashion:
ReplyDeletea) "Penetration of the backfield"
b) "Tight end"
c) "He pounds it into the end zone!"