Happy New Year!!

Happy 2011! I hope everyone's enjoying the college bowls and the last week of NFL before the playoffs. I thought I'd do something different this year, and remember 2010 in the form of some funny football quotes. Without further ado: Second and One's Funniest Football Quotes of 2010, collected from around the Internet (and one from real life).

10. "Unless that's Frank Caliendo doing Brett Favre, his wife is probably going to make off with half of his crap." - Brian, our stockroom attendant, on Brett Favre's voice mails to Jenn Sterger.

9. "[Lance Briggs is] Vick's Vaporizer." -Tim Souers of Cubby Blue on Bears vs Eagles.

8. "[MSU TE] Charlie Gantt could have moonwalked those final 10 yards and still scored untouched." - Awful Announcing's Brady Green, responding to Lou Holtz's assumption that Notre Dame had MSU's infamous "Little Giants" play - which gave Mark Dantonio a heart attack - "well defended."

7. "The Book of Revelation predicts that a beast with seven heads and 10 horns, four horsemen on colored horses and a Houston series win over Indianapolis will be the signs of the approaching Last Judgment." - Gregg Easterbrook, on the Colts' real clunker of a season opener.

6. "Topeka, Kansas has high schools of both Trojan, (Topeka High) and Seaman Academy. Therefore every year we have to suffer through headlines in the Capitol Journal of "Seaman Breaks Through Trojan Defense." It's like they think it's some kind of inside joke." - Random message board commentator on the world's worst sports team nicknames.

5. "Somewhere over the Dwayne Bowe" - Chris "Boomer" Berman, on a touchdown by KC WR Dwayne Bowe.

4. "I think this guy's a neo-Nazi." - Glenn Beck, upon seeing a picture of Brian Urlacher.

3. "Ranked 32nd against the pass after last week's epic collapse against the Jets, they should call the Texans' defensive backfield Room Service Breakfast -- five pieces of really expensive toast." - David Fleming, re: Houston's terrible secondary.

2. "No, I want to say f*** you. And I mean that in the most professional way." Denver WR Brandon Lloyd, upon asking if the newly-minted Pro Bowler had any messages for previous teams who let him go.

1. "Must've been Bill Belichick running the video camera." Fantasy CPR, on foot-fetish videos involving Jets coach Rex Ryan's wife, Michelle.

More to come later.